In The Shadows

5

KIM

A few days have passed since I last heard from Porschay. He has been texting and calling me, but I haven't replied. I miss Chay's presence, his laughter, and his silly smiles, but I am still unsure about our relationship. I have grown increasingly impatient and am eager to see him. However, I can only listen to the voicemail he left me. "Hi Pii Kim, it's me Chay. I was wondering if we could meet up so I can show you the homework you gave me. Please call me back," he said. Every time I listen to that message, the pit in my stomach grows deeper. What is this feeling? What's worse is that after he speaks those words, there's a moment of silence, and I can hear a faint sob. I didn't catch it the first time but heard it the second time I played the message. Then he says, "Uh, bye-bye," before the call cuts off. It pains me to think that I might be the reason why Chay feels sad.

The next day, I had to head to the studio. Something needed my attention, but It's the weekend, so it's probably something simple. since it is closed on the weekends.

"I heard my name being called. 'Pii Kim.' I looked over to see where it came from. 'Porschay?' It's Chay. How did he find me here? I didn't think I had ever told him my address. I couldn't help but smile. It had been so long since I last saw him, and seeing him made my heart speed up a little. He was still as adorable as ever. 'Kim, stop it,' I thought to myself. I hated that he made me feel this way. I had never felt like this before, and I didn't know what to do with any of it."

I walked towards him as he spoke, "Why are you not answering any of my calls?" I stopped a few feet away, not wanting to catch his scent. I had to lie to him again, "Oh, I've been working on a new song, so that's why I couldn't-" but he cut me off before I could finish. "Ohhh, that's what I thought. So, I got your address from your friend," he said, revealing how he found me. Now, I need to have a word with that friend. "And also, I'm here to play my homework love song for you to listen to," he added.

I can't hear it now. If I do, I'll know how he feels about me. I'm not ready to listen to it, I think to myself. He starts to take the case off his back, and I begin to panic. "The thing is, I gotta go now," I say to him, feeling my throat tighten. The longer I stay around him, the stronger my desire to get closer becomes. "Wait, wait, wait. Please," he pleads, extending his hand and smiling. I find it hard to refuse him when he's being so cute. "Please, listen. It won't take long," he says, pulling out his guitar. He looks a bit confused for a moment and he looks even cuter.

"Oops, I forgot the strap. It's alright. I have my guitar stand," he says and smiles like a child. Then, he stands on one leg and rests the guitar on the other. Despite his forgetfulness, he still looks cute, so I smile. He begins to sing, and I am captivated by his voice. As I listen to the lyrics, I feel like butterflies are fluttering around in my stomach.

"Excuse me, please lower your voice," someone interrupts the song that Chay made for me. Who the actual fuck is interrupting chays song to me. I turn to see a security guard and glare at him. "Just one moment, please. I am almost done here," Chay says. I get the guard's attention and make eye contact with him. He starts to back away. I think to myself, "Yeah, get lost before you get hurt." But I couldn't show that side of me in front of Chay, so I politely shooed him away, and Chay continued singing.

I closed my eyes, listening to the rest, and when he finished, I opened them and looked him up and down. "Okay, the stand is tired now," he said. I felt touched, but I couldn't help but laugh at what he said. That was the moment I realized I liked him more than just a friend. I bit the inside of my lip and took a deep breath to calm my fluttering heart. Holy shit, I wanted him. "Okay. Let me know what you think, Pii Kim," he said, and I nodded, my smile not fading. "Bye-bye," he said.

As I watched Chay walk away, giving me a thumbs up, I realized that I had strong feelings for him. However, I also knew that there were still many things that I didn't know about the connection that we had. I wanted to call him back and invite him to my place, but I hesitated. "Porscahy!" I called out his name, and he turned around. "Do you want to come to my place?" I asked, but he seemed unsure. "It looked like you were going somewhere?" he said, and at that moment, my phone chimed. It was a message from the studio, and I knew I had to go. "Go ahead, Pii. You have things to do," Chay said, sounding regretful. I nodded and told him that I would call him later. "When I'm done, do you want to do something?" I asked him, surprising myself with myself since it was way out of character. "Yeah, that would be great. I'll have to catch the bus now. I'll see you later, Pii," he replied, running off. I watched him until he was out of sight, feeling conflicted and uncertain about what I had just done.