A Tangle of Hurt and Happiness - A collection of poetry

To Stop a Beating Heart

I fear the girl I used to be,
Young and meek,
Yet so full of a love she didn't dare speak.
She was lovely, but she was weak.


But this little girl knew what to say,
What to want,
Even though everything that she knew was wrong.
In mind games, she always played along.


I stopped giving her a voice,
Scared of her next choice.
I let that love-filled girl die,
Replaced her with someone who was more likely to survive.


But that was all she had, she never truly lived.
How could she, without a heart to give?
I might have been dying before,
But that version of me had experienced so much more.


That young girl I used to be,
Naïve but free,
Lived to love those who made her want to flee.
Those that made her bleed.


Nurturing and kind,
But self destructive in mind.
She always picked the wrong side of the dime,
Wrote out the wrong rhyme.


That young girl only exists in lines now.
I gave her up and I still don't know how.
But the stronger, newer girl will never allow
Harm to come to me, she vowed.


I only trust my mind,
My heart no more, because I've already tried.
The time has come for that young girl to die,
Even if the new one will always have to lie.