A Tangle of Hurt and Happiness - A collection of poetry

Hatred

I know how to hate.
At least, I do when the guilt agrees to wait.
I can hold a grudge just fine,
But I feel bad about the feelings that are unfortunately mine.

I can't help the fact that I feel bad
Whenever that I get mad.
In my mind, it feels like I'm being unreasonable.
Like somehow, these feelings are just seasonal.

I shouldn't take it out on anyone when I'm in a bad mood.
I tell myself that all the time, even if the point is moot.
I know I shouldn't judge myself for showing emotion,
But I still give this state of mind all of my devotion.

I shouldn't hate myself for hating someone.
It's normal, I know it is, but I still don't want to be that one.
I don't want to carry bitterness in my heart
Because I'm afraid that, one day, it will tear me apart.

Still, after everything I've been through,
Don't I deserve to feel something real and true?
Can't I, for just one moment, be angry?
Can I feel this way without someone calling me crazy?

I am a scorned woman just as much as you.
I have been burned by love too.
One day, will I let myself be outraged and bitter?
One day, will I be able to say I'm not a quitter?

Not of the matters of the heart.
Not of my dreams currently threatening to fall apart.
One day, I won't quit in the face of emotion.
One day, I will offer hatred my devotion.

I know how to hate.
I'm tired of the guilt that makes me wait.
I have held a grudge just fine,
And I am proud of the feelings that are fortunately mine.