A Tangle of Hurt and Happiness - A collection of poetry

Relapse

It's crazy how just one relapse can totally destroy years of progress,
Reverting me back to the girl I was 5 years ago.
Like even one wrong move can make me regress.
A "two steps forward, one step back," kind of thing, you know?

I've become that little girl again.
The girl who couldn't keep even one good friend.
The girl who weighed roughly 80 pounds.
The girl who didn't speak because she thought her voice was too loud.

I thought I had burned that girl to the ground.
I thought she was no longer hanging around.
But as I meet her eyes in the mirror,
I can't deny the fact that I fear her.

She was weak and naïve,
Frayed and torn at the seams.
Her fragility haunts me.
But there was strength beneath those cuts that I could never before see.

She was everything I never wanted to be again.
But she might be who I turn out as in the end.
Cause she was the realest that I have ever felt,
And without her now, life feels like a strange dream beginning to melt.

A few days ago, I stared at the blood on my thigh.
I hadn't realized I had picked the blade up till I looked her in the eye.
She smiled at me so sweet and kind,
And told me that with her I would be just fine.