A Tangle of Hurt and Happiness - A collection of poetry

Complexities

I can't help that when I get angry, I cry.
And when I cry, I feel like I wanna die.
But I'm not allowed to give up this life.
Too many people need me to provide their own reasons why.


Contradicting emotions mix together to form the mess that is me.
I'm always feeling more than just three.
But these mixed up puzzle pieces are impossible for them to see.
They don't notice the damage till the cuts start to bleed.


Tears form in my eyes when I'm mad.
I can laugh so freely when I'm sad.
I lie to the faces of my mom and dad.
Telling them I'm fine with the loneliness I've always had.


I'm a walking mess of contrast.
A confusing mix of supposed permanent feelings that never last.
Everything good slips out of my grasp,
Replaced with conflicting emotions that always clash.


It's like my tears are connected to my shouts.
I get upset and that brings several emotions out.
I wish I could warn people when I'm feeling down,
But they don't listen till it's in every sound.


I took a match and set my heart ablaze.
The fire feeds off my feelings even when all I feel is pain.
It makes me wish that's all I could feel cause that feels safe.
But this twisted jumble of emotion can't be erased.


I can't help the fact that I want to die.
You would too if getting angry made you cry.
Sometimes I wish I could give up trying to give them reasons why,
Because I can't die till they want to survive.