A Tangle of Hurt and Happiness - A collection of poetry

Old Habits

I'm slipping into my old habits again.
I do not see my body as a friend.
Maybe I should have done what I was told,
But self love is getting kind of old.

I stopped taking my medication.
I swore it was just for vacation.
But I'm losing track of the days,
And I'm slipping further into my old ways.

I'm in such a bad mental space.
I just wanna get out of this place.
I can't keep up with this pace.
Life is moving too fast and I can't find the breaks.

I can't stand the way they talk.
On the door that I placed a lock,
They never bothered to knock.
So why do they pretend they've watched me like hawks?

I'm sorry, but I just can't eat.
I'm sorry, but I'm admitting my defeat.
I'm sorry, but I just can't sleep.
I'm sorry, but I can't stand the taste of the bittersweet.

I know that you care for me.
You're trying so hard to help, I can see.
I know how hard you work
To dig me out of this dirt.

I put myself here.
The consequences of my choices aren't something you need to fear.
I didn't keep my word,
But that doesn't mean that, alongside me, you need to burn.

I've slipped into my old habits again.
I'm so sorry that this might be the end.
I should have kept my promise.
But I didn't want to, if I'm being honest.