A Tangle of Hurt and Happiness - A collection of poetry

How Love Came to Be

It was just a simple crush,
Of it, I didn't think much.
But just how the time flies.
It leaves me wondering why
I'm still here
After all these years?

I was so young when it started.
Ten years ago, with my heart I parted.
One year, two years, three years.
That heart belonged to him, it was clear.
By the time the fourth came by,
I wondered why no one new had caught my eye.

I can't remember much,
Just that what was once a simple crush,
What they told me would just be an adrenaline rush,
Grew more and more.
It was a fight, but I don't know what for.
I never knew the handle was locked till I tried to open the door.

Five, six, then seven.
Then eight going on eleven.
The higher the number gets,
The more I regret the time I've spent.
I realized it in the spring,
How even when I try to shut it out, the heart continues to ring.

Time continued to fly by,
Plans went awry,
And I was still wondering why.
I wanted to love and have my heart returned.
I wanted the kind of love that burned.
But now I have learned.

There's no such thing as my future wedding.
There's no one who will lay in my bedding.
There's no one at all,
No way that I'll fall
For someone else now.
So this is how it happened if you're still wondering how.

At sixteen years of age,
His name fills every page.
I've loved him for ten agonizing years.
When did the thought of new love become something I fear?
I guess I'll love him till I die,
But no one, especially not him, will ever be mine.