Elysian

[23] - only if you join me

MIKA
𖤐 ༝ ･ ˖ ₊ ˚ 。 . ⋆ 𖤐

I did in fact not sleep at all.

Doing it was practically impossible when a line of thoughts were consuming my mind. Half of which were about Lane's against mine the whole goddamn night.

Don't get me wrong, I won't say I regret it cause I'd be lying. Would it be a lot easier if it didn't happen? Fuck yes, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it.

I could deny it but let's be real, we were both there. I'd probably only be making Lane more amused if I did, which would only make him more difficult to bare.

Will I tell anyone? Yeah, that's a big no. The only person who's have a normal reaction would be Benji. But one, he probably does not want to know and, second, if it ends up coming out Devon would give me so much shit for not being the first one to know.

Drama is the first on my 'do not want' list. This includes the possibility of people that work on us finding out. In this industry rumors fly around faster than formula 1 cars in a race.

Will there be a second time? For both our sakes it better not. In fact, it's good we didn't go all the way down, makes it easier to put in the past. We're a day from going back home, I can find just as good of a lay there with someone else.

"Can I come in?" my eyes fly to the door of my room as the thoughts swirling in my mind break away.

Fixing my dress I say, "Sure"

In contrary to what I expected, it's Ben who I catch sight of. My brows furrow instinctively but I resist on saying anything, wanting for him to be the one to speak first.

"Wow, you look beautiful" he flashes me a small smile, staying in distance from me, "Your mom told me to come and get you, we're all ready to go"

"Right, sorry, I lost track of time." I press my lips together, a rush of uncomfortableness floating through me.

Ben nods, seeming hesitant to say whatever it is that's at the tip of his tongue. I shift my weight from one feet to another and clear my throat.

"Does he make you happy?" the words fly out, causing my brows to rise as they process in my mind.

I blink confused, "What?"

"Alexander" he clarifies, hands digging into his pockets as he continues, "You seem different with him, I don't know"

Wonder why's that, "I guess I am."

"Good, that's- good, I think." Ben nods.

"Look, Ben, I'm happy with Lane the same way you are with Lydia. You should just leave it at that" I make it known that I'm dying to get out of here.

"Of course, and I am, I mean I love her" the honesty in his words make my lips press even more together, so I don't say something I might regret, "But I care about you too, still, and I want you to find that person for you, even if it's him"

I frown, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I just, he's the complete opposite of you, I didn't expect he'd be the one you'd fall for. You're all about control over things while he seems like the most careless guy in the world" he explains, shrugging.