All I hide

Chapter 32

I hang up and wait for his location to come through. Once I receive it, I continue walking – relieved I recognise the place – and call Elliott. He answers immediately.

"Sam! Oh my gosh, I've been trying to call you but it said user is busy. John vanished! He ignored all my calls and texts and I have no idea where he's gone –"

"I know. I know," I cut off his panicked rambling and let out a small chuckle despite myself. "I was talking to him just now."

"Oh. Did he say anything? It's not like him to run off like that."

I hesitate for a second. "Dad messaged him saying he wants to meet."

"I see."

"Mmm. Have you got his location? I'm heading there right now."

"Uh...yeah. Yeah I do. I'm not too far from there."

"Cool. I'll see you both there."

"Yup. See you."

He hangs up and I call John again as I quicken my pace since I've reached the main road. From here the route is simple; keep running down until I reach the last left turn and follow that road down until I get to the restaurant. From there I go up the alley where there's a path that will lead me to a public garden. Not many people know about it since it's tucked away and no main road leads to it. I'd be excited that I'm heading there if I wasn't so worried about John. Why isn't he picking up? Maybe he's talking to Elliott. Putting my phone into my bag, I increase my pace further, wanting to reach them both as soon as possible.

Ten minutes later, the greens of the trees and whites of the fountains come into sight and I slow down into a walk. My burning lungs serve as a reminder that I should start exercising again but I take deep breaths and focus my attention on finding where they could be. I walk past a large fish-shaped fountain and a statue of a small girl wishing upon a star towards a willow tree. Sure enough, they're both there but my relief is short-lived as my heart breaks at the sight of John crying into Elliott's shoulder. Elliott is holding him close, looking close to tears himself, and turns to me as I duck under the low branches of the tree and join them. He gives me a smile and whispers something in John's ear, who then also looks at me in acknowledgement before looking away.

"Hey," I say softly, not exactly sure what to expect.

John doesn't respond but breaks away from Elliott and wipes his tears. I can't help but feel a little uneasy, having not seen him so broken before, though Elliott doesn't seem so phased, as if he's seen John this vulnerable several times. Of course he has. He was there when I wasn't. Rather than feeling guilty, this time I'm just thankful that John had someone.

"John," I try again, "are you..." What am I meant to ask? Clearly he's not okay. Would it be weird to hug him when Elliott was doing so all this time? This is so stupidly embarrassing. I rushed all the way here but can't even comfort him properly.

His eyes meet mine and his lips tug amusedly. Shaking his head, he laughs and pulls me to him, his arms coming around me. "You idiot. How did you get here so fast?"

"I've never run so fast in my life. Do you know how worried I was? Why did you ditch Ellie and get lost? Don't do that ever again. Promise me." I blurt it out before I can stop myself, all the emotions I've been suppressing trickling out of me. "What if something happened and –"

"I'm sorry," he cuts me off. "I just got really overwhelmed and I'm sorry. Both of you."

"Give me a warning next time you plan to ditch okay?" Elliott jokes, "would've saved me sounding like a rambling idiot to Sam. It's not very attractive you know."

"Oh she didn't tell you?" John gives me a cheeky smirk then turns to Elliott. "Sam thinks your rambling is cute."

No I don't! Never have I said that or even thought it. Still, my face flushes and I avert my gaze from both of them. "We're getting sidetracked."

"I'm not doing it. I'm not meeting him." His tone is firm like he's made up his mind and nothing will change it. I turn back to him and his expression is icy, catching me off guard from the sudden shift in mood. He's decided that quickly?

"Are you sure? I mean, aren't you even a little curious about what he wants?"

"No. I can't do it."

"But –"

"I said no so don't convince me otherwise," he interrupts harshly. "If you want to know so badly just reach out to him yourself."

His words cut me and I shrink back a little. That's not what I intended at all. I'm just worried he's being impulsive and will regret it later. If there's one thing John always does, it's to hear someone out before deciding if he gives them another chance or not. Of course, there's nothing wrong with him not wanting to see Dad as long as he's sure that's really what he wants. After all that happened, I wouldn't blame him for not wanting to see him. But that's a decision that needs to be made with a clear mind, not an emotional one.

"Hey that's not fair," Elliott gently scolds him. "Don't talk to Sam like that. She just wants to help."

"Listen," I begin carefully and reach for John's hand. He doesn't refuse so I continue. "I know Dad leaving hurt you so much more than it hurt me since you were both really close...but if you choose not to see him and regret it later, what will you do then? I just want to make sure that you're thinking this through properly. If you really can't see him, that's completely fine."

"I really can't," he replies in a softer tone, looking at me apologetically, "not yet at least. I'll lash out and make things worse than they are. I need time."

Smiling, I nod and squeeze his hand before letting go. A comfortable silence falls on the three of us and I let my thoughts drift. John's right. Dad can't just vanish then come back like nothing happened. It's not fair. How can he suddenly ask John to meet after ignoring him all this time? I think back to the last time I saw him. The day we all found out, Dad left after all the arguing was over then returned late at night. Then he was gone again the next morning and I've not seen him since but we did have a conversation that night. I never realised they'd be my last words to him. Maybe I should've said something nicer. Hah. No way. I was too hurt and angry. Even now, it still hurts so much and yet some part of me wishes to see him one more time.