All I hide

Chapter 33

I don't know how late it is but the sky is pitch black, the moon hidden by dark clouds and the stars nowhere to be seen. I can't sleep, feeling way too restless and uneasy to even close my eyes, so sit on the stairs and stare at the front door. He's probably not coming back, not after whatever went down. I have no idea what was said and haven't even begun to process what he's done. For now, the only truth I'm clinging to is that he's still my father. Whatever happens, I'm still his daughter.

Eventually, I hear the key turn in the lock and the door slowly opens, Dad entering the house. He doesn't notice me until he's put his coat and shoes away and turns to head up the stairs. Our eyes lock, both of us straightening our backs as we freeze, unsure what to say or do.

"Samantha," he whispers, clearly not expecting me to be awake.

"Why?" Tears well in my eyes and fall down my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry. I never realised you and Johnathan knew each other, let alone be best friends."

"Because if we were total strangers your actions wouldn't be so bad," I retort sarcastically.

"I'm sorry."

"You've been unfaithful from the start. Which of your identities is the real one? My father or John's father?" I don't know why I'm asking, part of me really not wanting to know but another part hoping that the person in front of me is real.

"My name has always been Alaric..." he drops his gaze to the floor "...but my family name is Miles, not Wilson. I actually married your mother when you were three years old."

A laugh breaks out of me and it's so bitter I surprise myself. Here I was so eagerly waiting for him to return only to learn that Mum was the other woman and I was born out of wedlock. So when did Mum and Anja become friends then? She got the job at the company just before my fourth birthday and then I met John and Anja when I was five. "Did you really not know Mum and Anja are friends? Surely you knew they worked at the same company and they must have mentioned each other. This whole situation is ridiculous. Were you all really so oblivious?"

"Your mother doesn't care much to talk to me and you've never mentioned Johnathan."

I feel a surge of anger at the defensiveness in his tone. "You've both been married for eleven years! It's only recently she's closed off from everyone and you can't blame her for that when you know how hard she's trying! And as for me, I used to tell you everything all the time but stopped because you started seeming uninterested. I used to wonder if I'd made you upset somehow but it's because you care more about John and Anna, right? They carry the family name after all, unlike me and Alex."

"Samantha that's not true," his voice is softer this time and it only hurts me more. "I love all four of you equally. I'm sorry I made you feel that way. You became so independent so quickly and didn't seem to need me anymore."

"I did need you. You've seen how bad Mum's depression has got. It would've been nice to have one stable parent in the house." I scoff, glaring at him as my hurt and anger fuels me. "But of course, you were dividing your time between both houses. Can't neglect one set of wife and kids for the other."

"Samantha..."

"I really want to hate you. It will make this so much easier."

When I wake up the next morning he's gone and I start wondering if he ever truly considered me his daughter at all or if that was also another lie, the truth I was clinging to like a lifeline torn from me the moment he stepped out of the door.

"Sam," a voice breaks me out of my trance and I turn to Elliott, noticing John has fallen asleep on his shoulder, cosily snuggled up against him. He seems so peaceful, like he wasn't crying earlier, and the sight comforts me. He must be so exhausted. Elliott doesn't seem to mind John's proximity either and I wonder if this has happened before.

"Hmm?"

"You okay?"

"Mmhm." My gaze shifts to what I can see of the garden through the tree branches and I run my fingers through the grass absentmindedly.

"You sure?"

"This whole thing's a complete mess, isn't it?" I chuckle miserably, leaning back against the tree trunk. "Probably not what you signed up for when you befriended John."

"Not exactly what I had in mind, no." He reaches for my hand and intertwines our fingers. "I wouldn't change it though, being friends with you and John I mean."

"I'm glad."

"I agree that this is all a mess though. If it were me, I'd have no idea what to do."

"Honestly, I don't know either. I'm just taking each day as it comes." A thought occurs to me that has me shifting a little closer to him. "I wanted to thank you though."

"What for?" I can feel his eyes on me but if I look at him, I won't be able to say it.

"Everything. Being there for John, making Alex feel comfortable...just everything. Maybe it's stupid to like each other this soon but so what? And maybe at first I thought you were a dramatic flirt and an idiot but you're not. Not really. I get why John trusts you so much now. Just today told me more than words ever could have done." I stop when I sense his smirk and turn to face him. His eyes are shining with amusement and something sincere that I can't quite make out. "What?"

"Your rambling is cute too."

Heat rises to my cheeks but I glare at him and look away. "Don't flirt with me when my brother is right there...and you're literally cuddling him while he sleeps."

"It's not my fault he finds my shoulder more comfortable than the tree. Would you rather I ditch him just to cosy up to you instead?"

"No!" I reject him so fast I catch us both off guard, my hand flying to my mouth as I become increasingly flustered. Where's Reina when you need her? Or Elijah? "I-I mean..." I stutter out, training my gaze to the grass and nowhere else, "don't take advantage of John sleeping to mess around with me. That's so shameless."

Elliott recovers quickly, sounding more amused as he responds, "Oh it is? I don't think so. Isn't this the best time?"

"We're in public."

"We're barely visible through these low branches."

"John will wake up."

"We both know he sleeps like a log," he deadpans and I have no more arguments left.