All I hide

Chapter 43

"Ellie please let go," I request again, trying to get out of his hold and calm my racing heart.

"No." He tightens his arms around my waist so my back is right against his chest. "I like this."

"I do too but we need to get back." We're in the outside part of the college cafeteria and the others are waiting for us on a picnic bench just up ahead. The weather is a lot warmer now with summer approaching so we've all been spending more time outside.

"You look too good today. I want to keep you all for myself."

"I..." All I'm wearing is a simple white dress with a blue denim jacket. Okay and a light dusting of makeup but it's not different to how I usually dress. Simple and neat looks have always been my style. It's comfortable. "I just went to throw something in the bin. Why did you follow me?"

"What perfume are you wearing?" he continues, completely ignoring me and nuzzling my neck. "It smells different."

"Iris flowers. It was my mum's favourite scent and I guess it grew on me too." It would be really easy for me to melt into his touch but I don't want someone to come looking for us because we're taking too long.

"She had good taste."

Maybe it's silly but hearing Elliott compliment my late mother makes me feel emotional. I stop resisting and turn around so I can return his hug, placing my head on his chest. "Thank you."

He chuckles but doesn't comment, letting me pull away first and holding my hand as we go back to the picnic table. He's still holding it as we sit down and doesn't seem to have any intention of letting go. "So what did we miss?" he asks the others nonchalantly.

"Nothing much. I was just discussing an assignment with Reina," Elijah says then glances at the silent boy beside him. "John is still admiring the details of the table."

John scowls at him then goes back to staring at the table. Elliott is still holding my hand so, curious to see what he'll do, I take my hand away and he grabs it again, interlocking our fingers and bringing our joined hands back to his lap before directing the conversation to something else.

I turn my attention to John. Today's Friday and he's still not said anything. I'm sure he knows about Alex because Aunt Kathleen called Anja the next day to tell her. I don't know everything they discussed but we've all been told to be careful until they figure out what Dad wants. He's not showed up at the school again but whether that's because he's given up or because Alex and Jacob are being picked up remains unknown. Uncle Michael has tried calling Dad several times but to no avail. If he simply wants to speak to them, what's with all this shady business? Or is it like the movies where he's been told he's dying so now he's trying to correct all his mistakes before he's gone?

I don't know and quite frankly I don't want to stress about it. As long as nothing happens to Alex and John, I don't need to worry. Anna's been fine so far too since she spends the time she's not at school with John or Anja. I don't think Dad's tried to approach her yet.

John notices my attention and flickers his eyes to me. I silently ask if he's okay and he subtly shakes his head before returning the question to me. I shrug and give him a small smile. He looks at me contemplatively and his lips twitch but he doesn't smile. This disheartens me a little and I look away but it's still an improvement from the blanks stares and scowls he's been giving everyone all week. Maybe in another week he'll start talking again.

"You sneaky piece of..." All of us turn to John but he's mockingly glaring at Elliott.

"I'm sorry?" Either he's too stunned or relieved to play along.

"Don't assume I didn't notice the stunt you pulled with Sam before or the stunt you're pulling now."

"I..." He releases my hand and puts some space between us.

"Wait what happened before?" Elijah chirps, trying to lighten the mood. "Ellie I know you rejected me for Sam but sneaking around is a low blow, don't you think?"

"Oh shut up, you idiot," Elliott dismisses him, unable to take his eyes off John.

The air becomes thick with emotion, no one sure quite exactly what to say or do. John smiles bashfully and looks at the table again. "I...I guess I worried all of you. I'm...I'm not okay but it's okay."

"It's okay," Elliott echoes.

Reina taps her bottle on the table. Took you long enough.

"At least I'm not crying," John jokes back.

"Because you did all the crying first this time," Elliott teases.

"Sam can do the crying instead," Elijah adds, observing me.

I blink back my tears and hide my face in my hands. Thank goodness my makeup is waterproof. "I'm not crying. It's just really windy."

"What wind?"

"You didn't feel the sudden breeze?" Elliott puts his arms around me and kisses the top of my head.

"So shameless. Kissing my sister in front of me," John tuts, making everyone laugh and diverting the attention from me.

"Are you sure you don't secretly want one too?"

"No way. I've already said you're not my type."

And so they keep bickering back and forth, Elijah and Reina joining in here and there. It feels normal and the relief we're all feeling is evident in the way we're beaming. John's smiling and maybe it's less brighter than usual but he's smiling. For now, that's okay. It's enough.