Bastiana has a loving family, two amazing best friends, and a secret.
Over summer vacation, Bastiana and her besties do their best to focus on their bucket list in order to distract them from all the secrets they're keeping from one another. When a...
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"It's okay if you're not ready." Mom says softly from my bedroom doorway.
"I just need to grab a jacket and put on some shoes." I look down at my outfit and pinch my eyebrows together in confusion. "Unless you're trying to say that I need to change." I look back up at her.
"No, that's not what I mean, Bug." She laughs softly and walks over to sit down on my bed. "It's okay if you're not ready to spend this much time with Jaxon. I know that yesterday must have been a lot for you."
I sigh and turn back to my vanity, dropping down into the chair. "It was fine." I shrug one shoulder. "It was nice to have everyone together again. I really missed Abi."
"I'm sure you did, Sweetheart. We all did." She sighs and I look up at her through the mirror. "And it's okay if you missed Jaxon, too. Don't let anyone make you feel bad or weird about that."
I let out a deep breath as I shake my head gently. "But I shouldn't miss him." I whisper and look back down at my hands, fidgeting with one of my rings. I hear mom get up and walk over to stand behind me.
"And why not?" She asks, laying a gentle hand on my shoulder. "You went from seeing him nearly every day to not seeing him for four months. He's been a constant part of your life for years, Hon."
"But I'm still so upset and confused." I sigh and look up, meeting her eyes in the mirror. She gives me a sad smile as she continues.
"You can be upset with him and still miss him, Bastiana." She gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Both things can be true."
"I just don't know how to act around him anymore." I shrug and blow out an exasperated breath. "Sometimes it feels like last summer never happened and things are still normal between us. But other times, it feels like there's this weight looming over every word we say to each other, threatening to crush me if I make one wrong move. And, in the midst of all of this, I still don't know how I feel about him and I have no clue what he's thinking." I groan and drop my head back on my shoulders, closing my eyes.
"Well, you two seemed to navigate last night just fine." Mom says and I open my eyes to see her smiling softly at me.
"Yeah, I guess so." I sigh. "We texted a little bit last week when Abi called to tell me about you working on Thanksgiving. Later that night, he texted me and we talked."
"You did?" Mom's eyebrows raise a little in surprise.
"Yeah, just a little bit." I look back down at my hands. "He apologized and said he'd do his best to respect my boundaries at Thanksgiving. Which he did." I add softly.
"Well, that's good." She says slowly. "He may have made some mistakes, but he seems like a decent young man."
"I know." I sigh deeply. "That's part of what's making this all so confusing."
