"Heya! I'm [y/n] [l/n], the Ultimate Influence! Nice to meetcha!"
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"..Wait, aren't you the one who started World War III?! Satan's Humanized Form!?"
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"Wow, offensive. I'm way worse than that bitch, how dare you?!"
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[y/n] [l/n], the Ma...
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"Aww, no! Poor, poor Kaito!" I exclaimed, slamming the door to the dining hall open in a dramatic flourish. I looked at the dead body on the floor blankly, pretending like this was the greatest shock in the world.
As soon as those words left my mouth, I couldn't find it in me to bullshit another few jokes at Kaito's dead body's expense. I never thought the day would come where I felt bad for KAITO, KAITO of all people dying- man, late-night conversations can really change a person's mindset. Which they SHOULDN'T. FUCK LATE-NIGHT CONVERSATIONS.
I'm sorry.
I didn't even go there willingly, okay? The only reason I did was because some moron kept ringing my doorbell, over and over again. I thought I could go one day- yeah, one day in my nice dorm, instead of hiding out in the secret passageway in a bathroom, but noooo. This moron still hasn't given up on me, even after all I've done! Everything!
...Everything. I. Did.
. . .
You know how if you grow up with parents that loudly whine or complain, you learn how to block it out at some point? Yeah, well I really needed that skill, because I kept hearing the sound 'Ding dong, bing bong' every 2 seconds. I was hoping that he would give up and just... go somewhere else- except he didn't.
Was he seriously so stupid to the point where he didn't consider me sleeping somewhere else tonight? Actually, I don't sleep that much anyways, so if Kokichi decides it's a good idea to lockpick into my room, I'll just throw a book at his head.
But he already did- I saw it all go down with the cameras, because I'm so smart! I think that was the first thing he did after I ran off with the Electrohammers. I mean, at least he's smarter than just running around the entire Ultimate Academy in a futile attempt to find my gorgeous face, but my room is a bit too obvious of a hiding spot, no?
Then again, if it were so obvious to the point where it isn't obvious at all... okay, knock it off, [y/n]. And knock it off, Kaito.
I was hoping that I could zone out so the doorbell could just sound like background noise, but "Ding dong, bing bong" somehow stays jarring? I dunno. Damn, I felt like a genius when I thought up that doorbell noise, but it just came to bite me back in the ass. FUCK.
Besides, as soon as I open that door, I might as well be signing my own death contract. Not that I didn't already do that when I signed up for Danganronpa, but you get what I mean, right? I do not want Maki to be there with Kaito as she strangles the life out of me. No, no, what a bland death that would be.
What kind of mastermind would I be if I got strangled to death by one of the students? A very bad one, at that- sure, I might be remembered for being a crappy mastermind, which I wouldn't mind, since they'd still remember me, but I want my death to make a massive impact, too... not just that.
Well, whatever. I'm stronger than that bitch- 'that bitch' being Kaito, I would be utterly done for if Maki were with him. I slowly opened the door, peaking my head out with a playful smile. "HE-LLO! Wooaaah, you seriously are a masochist. Do you want me to tell you to get on all fours and bark like a dog or something?"
