chapter 49

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I want to slit my chest open and rip my heart out

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I want to slit my chest open and rip my heart out. I want to reach through my ribcage and grab a fistful of this thing that keeps me alive, this thing pumping blood through my veins before throwing it onto the ground and bashing the whiny little creature to a pulp. 

Have you ever daydreamed about that? I fucking despise my emotions, you know. Life would be so much easier if I just listened to my brain, but noooo. You just had to fall in love, you just had to get attached, you just had to fuck up the script to let someone who probably can't and never will trust you live. Which is a good thing, so I shouldn't be complaining.

Why are you even letting him live in the first place, [y/n]? You should've just let him die in ignorance. Then again, I think everyone would prefer being 'betrayed' by someone like me rather than someone who shrieks in horror whenever they lay their eyes on a dead body.

Someone... human. Well, whatever. My power's too large for their tiny brains to comprehend anyway, so HAHA they can cry about it.

I fiddled with my hands as I sat on my bed, waiting for Kokichi to take a seat next to me. Goddamn, this is awkward. Two antagonists in a room! They might kiss! 

For fuck's sake [y/n], just say something already. Boredom is like, a really crappy emotion. Except I'm not bored, I'm more... 'having an internal crisis while smiling like a dumbass.'

"Shouldn't you be plotting some evil plan for your sadistic desires or something?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. I know damn well that he's anything but sadistic, but I honestly don't know what else to say. I wonder if he's gonna keep that mask up when I reveal who I really am...

Kokichi blinked, as he leaned against the bedframe. "Huuh? I could be asking you the same thing, [y/n]...!  Ahahahaha, it's like all of them can suddenly give Maki-level death glares whenever they lay their eyes on us."

Are you upset about that, or do you think that's a good thing like I do? Wait- wait- how are we supposed to host a class trial if Kaito supposedly died of his illness? Eh... I guess the author won't have to type out 2 longass chapters for this death. "Right~? But we both know they're just suuper on edge with us around..."

I know he knows that I didn't fall for his 'sadist' facade.

I saw his motive video, remember?

Kokichi isn't stupid. Unlike some people. Yeah, FUCK YOU KAITO. Sorry, Kaito. Uh- I hope you're having a jolly time with your parents in whatever afterlife you got sent to. So, he knows that I know about him being against murder, and he knows that I have nobody to go home to.

All I can do is hope for him to have believed that the 'you're my reason to live, you very-attractive-cute-and-pretty-boy' was a lie! YAAAAAAAAYY! "Anyways, what... exactly was the point of coming to me?"

"Huh? Do I need a reason to see my favorite god?" Kokichi questioned, jabbing a finger in my direction. Oh, okay, I see what you're doing. The boy smiled a little too innocently, reaching his hands out towards me. "I miiiissed yoouuu... besides, it's a little rude to run out on people..."

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