chapter 48

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What was I supposed to do after I straight up stabbed my only hope of being 'unforgettable?' Now that I think back on it, maybe I shouldn't have done that- but hey, what happened, happened

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What was I supposed to do after I straight up stabbed my only hope of being 'unforgettable?' Now that I think back on it, maybe I shouldn't have done that- but hey, what happened, happened. Like I said, there's no point in dwelling on the past and what 'could've' happened- I could've just decided to move on and forgive the world or whatever like Kaito did when I...

...He lost his parents because of me- and yet he still believed in me for some bullshit reason. What a moron. Oh, well! He's dead now. DEAD. I'm still baffled by that- my parents died, and they were utter pieces of shit, and what did I- wait, was that me?

Kaito didn't decide to hate the world when whatever unjustified death that hit his parents. I mean, death isn't very biased. It... really depends on what you decide to do when life decides to fuck you over, I guess...!?

Oh my god why am I jealous of this MORON. THIS MORON. There is no way I'm envious of basically the dumbest, most ignorant person in this entire cast.

To be fair, he isn't that dumb with his talent and all, but- OH SHUT THE FUCK UP, HE'S STILL A DUMBASS.

Uh... you know what, we can focus on my backstory later. Not the Ultimate Influence, who's DEAD! ME! MINE! Which I totally remember. Yep. Okay, let's go back to focusing on the task right now. Let's dispose of the poison that totally didn't just kill the only guy who had faith in me, in which I'm super totally happy with because GOD it would've been a pain if he lived to see my class trial.

I rubbed my eyes, glancing down. Normally, when you stab someone, there's supposed to be blood smeared all over your hands, as you slowly realize what you've done. I already know what I've done- it's not slowly creeping up on me or anything. I don't think I'm shocked or surprised or anything.

I feel numb, really. Blank, empty, a clean slate, just like the knife in my hands. I sighed, slipping the weapon into one of the million pockets in my jacket- nobody needs to know. I guess I'll just throw the poison bottle into the trash in the secret room...

A small, tired sigh escaped my lips as I forced myself to get out of my dorm. Why did I even do this in the first place? All of this work that I did, setting myself up to go 'oh haha Kokichi died', right out the window! Was it because I couldn't trust myself enough to not shed any tears? Even though there's no way in any universe he could ever love me back?

Well- I don't even know why I'm complaining about that. It would be too much trouble to listen to the, "[y/n]! I thought we actually had something! I thought I could truuuustt youuuu." Or something like that. I guess I should technically enjoy it and laugh about the despair engulfing him, but I can't find it in me to care right now.

Whatever, I'll probably feel better in the heat of the moment, I thought as I went through the passageway in the bathroom. Adrenaline is really important, y'know? Like the adrenaline rushing through my veins when I fucking stabbed the mask I've been putting on for this entire killing game. The mask that was supposed to become who I truly am. Not that I have a chance with that now...? I think.

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