The laughter is audible when walking across the streets, the gazes all too obvious. Even when Anja has not really been doing in particular nor had been in her usual company… Or did she just imagine things? Maybe but maybe not? Uh, it was so hard to focus on anything. Keeping up the front of a regular person – Female and male. Two separate lives, though not by choice. And yet, some people recalled this mere fact and it started to spread like wildfire yet again…
“Don’t forget that she’s also a crossdresser.”
“Crossdresser? What? Is she a guy?”
“I dunno… But I’ve seen her wearing guy’s clothes too when out.”
“What!? No way!”
“Yeah yeah! I heard that she started in middle school! Wanted people to call her by another name too whenever she did.”
“Wait what? Ugh… That’s disgusting~”
“Right right?”
‘ Don’t let the words get to you. They don’t know what they are talking about. ’ That was what Anja decided to live by. Just ignore those remarks and move on with your life. They know nothing. They don’t know how you feel. They cannot look into your head. They do not understand. And yet there would always be a stomach ache shortly after. Whenever passing by such remarks, no matter where she went. Anja swore that she could hear the whispers, that she heard someone say something across those lines…
“Hey look! It’s that Crossdresser!”
“Eww, is he wearing a skirt? Creep is trying to peep at women, isn’t he?”
“I heard that’s a she. Bet she’s trying to get a glimpse of the guys inside the public restroom. Pervert!”
“Does anyone even like her? I’d never touch her with a ten foot pool!”
“Maybe Akechi–Kun knows and is taking pity on her. After all, no one would want to be around a creature like that.”
“She’s not right in the head. Or is it a he? Eh, whatever. Got a screw loose.”
“Disrespectful brat. Doesn’t cherish the name the parents gave her.”
“No way I call them by that lame name! Ugh…”
“She’s still not out of her phase? What’s wrong with her!?”
“There’s no need for failures like her.”
“Right right? Bet she’s trying to compensate for never finding a guy. Can’t say I pity her. She’s a freak.”
Each time she heard laughter she believed to have heard something. It made her heart stop for a moment, her feet freezing as she turned around several times, as if trying to spot someone. However, when having taken a closer look inside the crowd Anja just saw a group of girl surrounding one with a phone, laughing at who knows what. Though knowing that made her sigh in relief before clutching onto her bag for a moment. She then continued to move, though be it slowly. Yet each step was heavier than the last. She could barely carry herself lately. Was it the fault of the medication? Or had she just eaten a little too much?
No, none of that. She was fine this morning… It had only started recently again, when having bumped into an all too familiar face again… Watanabe, was it? Watanabe… Maki, right. Her. One of Anja’s former classmates in middle school. And the two kept bumping into another from time to time yet the chats were never pleasant. In fact, when thinking back on her face the other day, when the two had seen each other yet again…
“ Ah, if it isn’t our local Crosdresser~ ”
“ It’s… Nice to see you again too, Watanabe–San… ” A forced formality yet Anja had no choice, did she? And honestly she had no energy to deal with Maki for long…
“ Hey, what’s your big deal anyways? Clinging onto Akechi–Sama? ” Maki had scoffed. “ Then again, he’s probably so generous that he takes pity on a weirdo like you. Don’t read too much into it. ”
Anja didn’t even reply to that. It was not worth the time. She had been told so several times by her mother when the two happened to speak of it. ‘ Dearie, don’t waste your breath. This girl isn’t worth it. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about most of the time! ’ Mother is right. Yeah, she is… But at the same time… It hurts. It always did.
“ No one would even think about some girl stuffing herself in guy’s clothing. Even worse if she roleplays you know. ”
No answer, only Anja turning away as she was clutching onto her bag tightly, to the point she had felt her hands hurt. “ So what? ” She said coldly. Can’t this bitch shut up already!?
“ Oh? The silent treatment again? Well, whatever. Good luck roleplaying, Crossdresser! Then again, not like me and the others will miss you anyways~ ”
That she dared to still speak about it so casually… It was her fault after all that everyone found out in middle school… It was Maki who forced Anja to come out with the truth… All because she had yelled it out loud at the time when Anja had dropped her bag once, revealing the male tailored clothes inside. “Eww! Look at her everyone! She’s crossdressing! Told you she was weird!” And shortly after that laughter ensued from all sides… And since then isolation if not more than that. It had even reached a point where one day Anja had found a flower on her desk and—
Ah no! What was she thinking about? That all was… No way Maki knew anything about Anja’s current circles… Right? Well, then again… When looking at some forums—
No, no, no! Snap out of it! She’s wrong! She has no idea what she is saying! … It was easier said than done. It was hard to believe. Because… Well… If some people knew that she was always one and the same, even as Luka, then—
This isn’t middle school anymore! Ah, whatever! Just forget about it! Just forget… About…
“ Then again, not like me and the others will miss you anyways~ ”
… “Please, just shut up in my head at least…”
YOU ARE READING
Persona 5 - The Jester's Point Of View
FanfictionLeading the life of a seemingly normal girl and a boy, as Anja and Luka. There was nothing outstanding about them and their life just carries on as it always does, playing whichever role they must to survive in this world. And yet no one truly knew...
