Persona 5 - The Jester's Point Of View

Scene 26

They shoved a pill into their mouth. They then opened a bottle of water and chucked it down in an instant. This was followed with another pill and then yet another… Before they finally stopped. No wonder why they were feeling so bloated recently, all on top of being annoyed and tired. They had forgotten it the past few days… If Takemi–San ever hears this she will probably give them an earful. No, she probably has a clue, latest when they would arrive at her praxis a few days later than they should have since the last purchase of the medications. Haha… They were careless sometimes, weren’t they? Just forgetting all about it! No wonder why they were so down lately!

No… It wasn’t just because of them forgetting the medication. While it can solve their energy levels as well as reducing the amounts of food they eat… It would not let go of the feeling clutching onto them. It made them collapse onto the bed shortly after, looking right at the ceiling. While it would probably prevent their mood swings the feeling was still lingering in there. It made them still feel rather heavy, the feeling of their chest being crushed. It was hard to breathe when just thinking about it… About the past few days.

Not just hearing that Maki was spreading her rumors around almost everywhere but the male friends were being more and more distant as time went on. Well, besides one but that was a more complicated relationship… Besides, they weren’t sure what to call him at this point But this had nothing to do with Akechi in the end… He didn’t even know what was going on and they had no intention of telling him. Not like it would matter anyways… This was something they had to deal with alone. They couldn’t rely on anyone else.

Honestly, if it had not been for the other girl that day… What was her name again? Tama… ma… ma… Tamamama? No, wait… Tama… Taka.. Takamami? That sounded wrong too. Ta… Ta… Ah, screw it. Ann is easier. Yeah, Ann. If it had not been for her then things could have ended ugly, couldn’t they? She had pushed them back after all, before they could even do anything… 

They may not have shown it but they were rather upset at the time. ‘Why won’t you let me do it? Everyone wants me gone anyways!’ – Thoughts like these crossed their mind throughout the entire conversation. Honestly, if it had been their decision they would have probably turned around and dashed on the rails anyways but… It was already enough of a surprise that someone had noticed them there to begin with. They really expected that no one would have seen them but… They were proven wrong in the end. Someone had taken note and put a stop to it. And at least now they were a little grateful… Given that they had some time to think and the medications started to kick in slowly but surely. Their head went from a fog to a clear sky when giving it a few more minutes. Yeah, this wasn’t the way out… Was it?

And yet, there was no way that they could do something. Maki phrased it in an ugly way but she wasn’t wrong… They were essentially dressing up as one or the other – Anja or Luka. Nothing in between. There was a reason that they had kept it all secret, why they were leading two lives. They knew that this would happen. Most would be judgmental either way and point fingers at them. They had done so when they were trying things out in elementary school. Of course they were more naive back then so they didn’t catch on right away. Yet once they did they swore to just separate the two. They didn’t want to, it was still them, yet there were aspects they had to hide as Anja or as Luka. Or else they would get pointed at yet again…

But that is exactly what is happening. People call them ‘weird’ and look at them in disgust… All because Maki had caught wind of them yet again. And for what reason? Back in middle school they didn’t really know. Maki just did it, probably picking on a new target. She had gone through her life making as many people as possible miserable as she could by spreading rumors. False or true did not matter, people would eat it up anyways and just run with it. As long as they had something to talk about. And in their case however… It was true. She labeled them as a crossdresser and everyone believed it, especially when learning of the way they dress and how they change it sometimes in the middle of the day. All because Maki had caught them before, then letting her mouth run it over and over until everyone had heard it. And apparently she kept going… But why bother beating a dead horse like that? Well, she does mention Akechi a lot so… Could it be? If that was her entire reason then—

No, that wouldn’t change the current situation. Question was how to get out of it. How to proceed. Considering everything… It was technically as she said. No one wants to be around who they consider a ‘freak’ and the thought would always linger in their back… Freak… If they are a freak… They were really starting to wonder. But— 

Ah, wait… There may be a way to get out of this but… Actually trying it? Would that really work? After all, the forum posts could be fabricated. Hah… They did become desperate when considering what they consider to be just a possibility and not fact. There was no evidence that The Phantom Thieves really exist… No way. And yet… If these posts are true… They could give it a shot. It was hopeful thinking but maybe… With a little bit of hope… It could work.

But if not then they still had an alternative after all… Didn’t they?