The Bridge

Chapter 38

One week before the tree-lighting, the club was as busy as other departments. Itinatayo na rin ang gigantic Christmas tree na iilawan, this is the third day of decorating it and decorating the whole area.

Everyone in the club is still gloomy including me. Isang linggo pa lang mula nung mailibing si Lili and we have to go on, without her. It was just sad. Hindi ko pa nakikita si Craeyan at Graeson, they took a break from everything and promised to come back before the event. Frances is busy with his studies and career, hinahayaan ko lang sya because he's a graduating student, next year. 

He's in line with business. Hindi naman sya nawawalan ng oras sakin through internet and phone, he always checks on me at ganon din ang ginagawa ko. Hindi namin hinahayaang ma-missed out yung mga bagay-bagay. Which is good. 

Nasa music club ako ngayon at pinag-aaralan ko lang yung mga pieces na tutugtugin just in case na may emergency at least alam ko yung ibang parts. Program flow will be given by the student council, part lang kami ng event pero hindi kami ang organizer compared sa promotions na ginagawa namin. I can see that people wanted to be busy so they can divert everything. I continued practicing the pieces. Huminto ako nang makita ko ang isang pares ng black leather shoes sa gilid ko. Tiningnan ko kung sino may-ari non. 

"C-craeyan." Napansin kong lahat sila nakatingin kay Craeyan, they understand him, so do I. Nangayayat sya at mukhang hindi din sya nakakatulog ng maayos dahil sa eyebags na meron sya. He looked like a mess. 

"Let's finish this one." He said. Inilapag niya ang isang music sheet sa mismong piano keys. Marahan lang yun pero gumawa pa din yun ng ingay sa buong music room. "It's a song for Lili." 

"Ghost of you..." my heart breaks as I read the title. I can see some blank phrases, some words that needs to be filled. Napalunod ako. He's looking at me with his dark eyes. Kinuha ko yung music sheet, hindi pa ako nakakatayo ay hinawakan na niya ang kanang kamay ko at saka marahan akong hinila palabas ng music room. It wasn't that fast but I wouldn't say that it was slow, hindi din ako nasasaktan pero ramdam ko ang mahigpit nyang kapit sakin. Nakatingin samin ang ibang estudyante at wala syang pakealam sa mga nakatingin samin.

Nakarating kami sa lumang music room. There was no one in there. Umupo kaming dalawa sa throne. Inayos nya yung sheets. "Teka lang." Ngayon lang ako nagsalita after he dragged me all the way here. 

"You don't look fine." 

"No one is." Hindi naman sya mali. 

"You have a point." Humarap sya sakin. 

"Cerium, my heart is dying. Hindi ko alam kung anong dapat kong gawin to divert all this pain. Hindi pa ako nakaka-move on nang tuluyan sa mama ko and now she died in my arms, I was holding her when she died. Cerium, I don't know what to do anymore." He burst out. Nanahimik lang ako habang nagsasalita sya, I listened, I know that's what he needed right now. Kitang-kita ko ang devastation sa mga mata and it reflects to his physical traits.  I know he tired his best noong mga panahong nawala siya but the pain is too much.

Sobrang mahal niya si Lili and no one can accept someone's death regardless of the cause. I can hear him sobbing. I pat his back. He lowered his guard when he started to lean on me so I hugged him. 

Naka subsob naman sa balikat ko ang mukha nya habang umiiyak. Kung may taong mas nakakaintindi siguro sa kanya ngayon, ako yun... we lost our loved ones in just a year. Hinayaan ko lang syang umiyak. He's been hiding for long week to conceal his pain, I can feel that he tried everything to get rid of the feeling that he has but he can't find a way. It was hard finding it on his own.