The Bridge

Chapter 49

Tinatanong ako ng mga nakakasama ko sa internship, I just told them na were friends, childhood friends, the story of how we met on summer workshops tapos they leave me alone. But Ms. Anna is different. She know what she heard kaya she's always suspicious towards me. Ilang linggo na din ang nakalipas mula nung mag-start kami ng internship, hindi kami nagkikita-kita nina Cana dahil magkakaiba kami ng department. Madalas kong nakikita si Frances at madalas niya din akong binabati pero in a casual way dahil napag-usapan na namin ang bagay na'to. And of course, lagi ko ding nakikita si CC.

Madami silang project ni Frances, minsan nakakaramdam ako ng selos, I acknowledge it as jealousy, kasi ano pa ba ang dapat kong maramdaman other than that? Yun lang yun, yun lang ang naiisip kong word to describe how I feel.

Seeing them close to each other kahit na shoot lang yun, they are a love team in the making, I hate to think it that way pero yun kase ang nakikita ko eh, and I heard rumors... in the area... about them being close even behind na camera, it's bad to think ill about them, I can't help it.

"You okay?" Tanong sakin ni Craeyan. Ngayon ko narealize na ginising na naman nya ako from my deep thinking. When we are needed at school, we comply. Since tapos naman na yung pinagagawa, pumunta na ako dito sa lumang music room dahil may oras pa naman ako.

"Yeah."

"Ang lalim na naman ng iniisip mo eh, lagi kang ganyan everytime you have a time in this place." sermon nya sakin saka pumindot sa piano keys.

"Hmm..." kahit sya napapansin niya, ibig sabihin masyado akong nag-papa-apekto sa mga nakikita ko. Nakaupo ako sa ilalim ng bintana tapos nasa harap ko yung piano, kita ko yung side profile nya.

"You can tell me about it if it's bothering you, ano ba yon?" Tiningnan ko sya ng matagal bago ko ma-realize na hindi ko yun pwedeng i kwento sa kanya dahil hindi naman nya alam na may relasyon kami ni Frances. "What?"

"Hmm... since you've been in a relationship... let me ask you some things." He stopped clicking the keys tapos humarap sa direksyon ko.

"You're in-love?" parang gulat na gulat naman sya sa sinabi ko. Hmm... Let me just magic some questions siguro para hindi lahat nag-lelead tungkol sakin.

"Well, yeah? But this is not about me, about someone. Hindi ko kase alam kung anong advices need nya since I never been into a relationship." That's a lie, sorry.

"Okay? Suspicious but okay I'll go along with it." Tumayo sya at tumabi sakin umupo sa lapag. Nag-indian sit naman ako tapos humarap sa side nya.

"Okay, kunwari... kunwari lang ahh! Sorry Lili my dear... so...  hypothetically... kunwari tayo, tapos super close ka sa isa mong friend na babae to the point na shiniship na din kayo ng iba, my natural reaction was jealousy. Right?" he nodded, he was staring at me and I think he's thinking. "But I am not allowed to demand kase I insisted naman na you can do whatever you want." But the reality is he needed to do those... Frances needed those. "What do you think I should do or feel?"

"Hmm... there are many things to consider in your story. Una, bakit sila super close, was it their nature or is it required? Pangalawa, ganon na ba sila before pa maging in relationship kayo? Pangatlo, does he know how you feel?" Does he know... of course he doesn't. Why should I tell him? If I do that, para ko na ring kinain mga sinabi ko about him reaching his dreams and goals in life. Well... technically they're not close, it was only for the job. Second, hindi naman din sila close even before they do things professionally. Third was...

"You're answering them in your head." he can read me talaga. Hindi na ako nagtaka sa sinabi niya na yun. He was right. I am answering them inside my brain. He heaved a sigh.