The Bridge

Chapter 46

CHRISTMAS EVE

Nandito kami sa mausoleum ng mga magulang ko kasama ko si lolo. He was just staring at the grave of my parents and today is Christmas eve. Nang matapos kaming dumalaw sa puntod ng mga magulang ko ay nag-lunch kami, a private lunch in a fine dining restaurant. May alam ako sa table manners kasi tinuturuan ako ni mama, kaya pala marami syang nalalaman pagdating sa tamang manners dahil well-off pala talaga sya. 

"So... you're currently talking communication studies, not bad. Hmm... but are you interested in taking over our businesses?" Napahinto ako sa tanong ni lolo habang kumakain kami ng steak.

"Businesses po?" 

"Oo. I'm old, I can let Fremengers handle it pero their hands are also full. So in case na interested ka I will teach you." sabi niya sakin. Hindi pumasok sa isip ko ang bagay na yan.

"Hindi po ako confident sa business lolo..." 

"I will teach you. I will not force you either. It's not good pushing something to someone, baka layuan mo din ako katulad ng ginawa ng mama mo." natatawa niyang sabi. May point naman sya, tsaka ayoko din ng pinipilit ako tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay. 

"Hindi ko po alam lo... hmm..." hindi ko din sure kung anong gagawin ko sa buhay ko pa eh. Should I study business course para matutunan ko yun? Kailangan ko din dahil may coffee shop, it's just that Ling is there to help me out.

"I can understand the part where you're confused to what is happening, nandoon ka pa din sa stage na yun kaya hindi kita bibiglain. I am just giving you a heads up." I nodded. Napatingin ako sa paligid ng restaurant, mga pamilya ang karamihan na naka dine-in or di naman kaya ay mag-partner. It's Christmas afterall.

Tama si lolo, I'm confused. Still confused about what is happening in my life, para akong nabo-bombard kase ang dami kong dapat gawin, alamin, madaming nadagdag sa mga kailangan kong malaman though hindi naman sya burden, marami lang that I can't do in one snap.

"Don't overthink it my dear, it's Christmas, we should celebrate." Napatingin ako kay lolo, he was smiling at me. "Pupunta tayo mamaya sa mga Fremengers."

"Hah?!" yun ang bigla kong nasabi.

"Why?"

"S-sinabi niyo na po sa kanila?" tanong ko. Hindi ko pa kase nasasabi, tapos... diba nga... hindi pa ako handa.

"Hindi pa, mamaya sana para event." natatawa sya habang sinasabi niya yun. Mahilig si lolo sa party.

"Uhm... hindi pa ako handa lolo." sabi ko sa kanya. Napakamot ako ng batok ko. Am I taking too much time? Ilang araw pa lang naman mula nung malaman ko yung totoo eh.

"Oh... paano yan? It's Christmas and we have to be there since it's a family gathering." sabi nya.

"Hmm..." It's not nice if I can't spend time with lolo this christmas since this is our first holiday together pero anong gagawin ko, hindi pa ako handa... BAKIT BA KASE ANG ARTE ARTE KO?! Pumikit ako ng malalim saka ko sinabayan ng hinga.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know lolo. Ina-anxiety ako."

"Maybe you're afraid. You're friends with the Fremengers, noong nakita ko kayo noong birthday ni Lilania, you are all having fun. What's stopping you from letting them know that you're family?" he was calm as he spoke. It was like mom's advice to me.

Ang alam ko lang hindi ako handa, pero kailan nga ba ako magiging handa? Ano nga ba kinakatakot ko?

"Let me guess..." he wiped his mouth using the table napkin. "Natatakot ka na baka mag-iba ang tingin nila sayo? Or different treatment?" Naalala ko ang ginawa sakin ni Yana, the moment that she knew I was going to study at Ahrillis, she bitterly accepted it tapos iba na ang naging trato niya sakin ever since, maybe that's one of the reason why I don't want to let them know. They're better off not knowing things.