Haikyuu Oneshots

🌤️ (KuroTsukki) Jewels 🌤️

"Fearing that I might not be a jewel, I made no effort to polish myself; but half-believing that I might be a jewel, I could not rest content among the common clay." - Atsushi Nakajima

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From a young age, I knew I was better than most people, above average--'Gifted' was the word they used to demarcate me from the other student droids. It wasn't even in conceit that I claimed to be special, by most trackable markers, I was special.

I had better grades, I was taller, at one point or another I'd had more friends, I ran faster, I jumped higher.

Seeing how much I fit inside their box, adults felt even more comfortable confining me. I'd fit so nicely--so what was the harm in squeezing the box smaller and smaller, what was the harm in covering it with a lid?

Really the only thing they'd change about me was my detestable personality. So they highlighted it. I was so close to greatness that there was only one thing to further distort. It couldn't be that hard. There was no way it would cause damage.

I got scolded by my teachers, my classmates--everyone.

"Tsu-chan, that's so mean..."

"Tsu-chan, don't say things like that."

"Tsu-chan, we get it. You're smart. You don't have to rub it in."

It wasn't just the things they'd say to me either. Behind closed doors, they were a lot more comfortable.

"Tsu-chan is a smart boy but he's a bit condescending...the other kids don't like working with him."

"Tsu-chan always beats me on tests...that's why he's 'gifted.'"

"I'm gonna ask to be his partner on the next project--I know he's unbearable...but he's a genius. I'll get a good grade for sure."

I finished elementary school with just one friend, a scrawny boy with wide eyes.

I decided that in middle school, I would try to hit perfection. I waved to people in the halls, I smiled. I said "Hi", "Hello!", "Good morning~!", "Tell me more."

It was a strange script that kept me in with my peers. My grades kept me in the advanced classes where the nerds gushed over me. Volleyball kept me in the popular sphere of school and the jocks would smack my shoulder in the hall to congratulate me on wins, or my physique, or the girls that apparently liked me.

It had been hard at first, a type of uncomfortable that festered under my skin like alien eggs. Socializing was a rash that never went away. Part of me despised it. The other part despised myself for not being talented enough to do it easily.

Still, there was this book I'd read once when I was younger, and one study they'd done haunted me. A crying baby will eventually stop crying if left alone, not because the trigger was removed or they no longer felt sad, but because they'd given up hope that anything will change.

I stopped crying when I was uncomfortable.

.

I tossed my jacket over my arm and sighed, getting ready to leave. I'd already stayed back late for a few minutes after being begged by Bokuto and Kuroo. My hands burned from blocking, my chest heaved. I hated working this hard.

Somehow, they were still going at it, poor Akaashi setting to Bokuto infinitely. It was almost embarrassing to watch. Their shoes kept squeaking on the floor, like nails on a chalkboard. I shuddered.

"Ah--you're heading out, Tsukki--?" Kuroo glanced over his shoulder at me and tilted his head.

I don't know where he got the impression that we were friends. I don't know where he got the idea that I tolerated him at all. I nod curtly. "Yeah."