four words [the fangirl ii - a.i]

28

But she should've talked to me instead of talking to Derek. Right? I mean he was our problem. She should've walked away and chased after me. I understand, we are men. We are the ones who supposed to chase after girls but men could be demanding too. Could feel everything the way everybody else does.

Relationships just gets blurry when you get older. Taylor Swift said, it doesn't even matter anymore who's right or wrong. Must agree with her and that's what you call growing up. But right now I'm sick of growing up. I couldn't grow up. I couldn't just let it pass. I wanted to talk about it. I want her to make an effort to make this 'us' work out.

My elbow was on the counter, I was taking another glass of liquor when I felt a hug from my back. A little too tight and a little too familiar. She sat at the chair beside me.

Untying her hair she put her hair bond at her wrist and ran her hands through it to untangle some knots by her fingers then put it from her shoulder to brush them and tied them again in a messy bun. I just watched her. Doing little things like this. And she looked perfectly just fine with those bags under her eyes, the huge shirt she was wearing right now because she ran out of clothes and we haven't had a chance to laundry our clothes.

Then she looked at me.

Looking at her tonight while she's looking at me was not the best thing to do. Weird but I looked away and started to think about random things like the jobs I had and selling CDs and Vinyls was the best job I ever had but eventually got fired because I kept making the tables as drums.

"Can I have a uh... uhm..." I heard her say these lines and I never thought she was drinking alcohol. I pictured her as a naive woman and she still is, "whatever, give me some." She didn't know anything about alcohol. But what they were talking about the 'dynamite' back there at London, when she was with Ace, before we headed Australia for an outing? An alcohol. Right.

"If I were you I won't give her anything." I said taking the last sip from my glass. The ice cubes had vanished and mixed to my liquor.

"No, give me it." she said grabbing it from the bartender's hands and before she had a chance to drink it I took it from her hands and guzzled it down my throat.

I put the glass down. "Stop. Don't. I don't want you here. Look at this place. Look at you. This doesn't suit you."

"It doesn't suit you as w-"

S A R A H

I was cut off like that. There were people arrived and greeted him and I was just there, standing beside them, at the corner, and I thought I wouldn't be good for his image if anybody else besides the bartender knew that I was his girlfriend. I wanted to shout, to tell the world, or even whisper through their ears just to say that he's got a girl and we were living together so I wouldn't be worrying the privacy we had to maintain, the relationship we had to keep that we only have to talk within the walls of the band's bus.

Before leaving I looked back at him, his eyes were on me while talking to them. Suddenly, they all stood up and headed for the door.

I guess I would come back alone but before that I'd like to know what does liquor tastes like. I waited for the bartender, when he was done with the others at the other side of the counter he proceeded at my direction.

"He said he doesn't want you drinking here." He said instantly when he was reaching for a glass, I haven't even poured a single word out of my mouth yet and he already had his opinion, "are you guys a thing or? You know? I know him."

"Who wouldn't? He's in one of the famous bands in the world today." I said flatly.

"So? Do you want a hard drink or-"

"HARD."

"Alright. Relax okay." He said and took whatever that 'hard drink' is, then slid at the table towards me. He then didn't talk to me again because more people were coming to drink. What else they would do in here?