four words [the fangirl ii - a.i]

53

S A R A H

"What are you doing here?" was a stupid question to ask with the person you're going to get married with.

"Oh I thought you'd be happy seeing me." he said and opened his arms wide for me to hug him. I did and he hugged me tighter. "I've missed hugs." I murmured to his ears as I put my arms around his waist and bury my face to his neck.

"I've missed you though not just the hugs." he whispered and kissed my temples. I saw Ace went out the room maybe because it was awkward for him to see us clingy.

"Ace and I," I said as I unclasped and headed to the laptop to let him see, "we were working on to different histories of different countries."

"I am not asking for an explanation." he said giggling in between words but look at it anyways, "You took that picture?" he asked and I nodded. "It was the the painting that's on 'Da Vinci Code' of Dan Brown." I knew he'd notice.

I continued tapping the right arrow button at the keyboard to let him see the pictures we took and as being stupid I still had Ace and I's picture in it and didn't separated with different folder.

Not that I was hiding something but I knew it would spark something inside him and I don't like to flare it up when they meet, again, downstairs this evening. "Where was it?" he asked. "I don't remember you told me about Louvre." It was Ace dangling his arms around my shoulder and behind us was the Triangle glass at the Louvre that built near the Rose Line.

It was the time that I didn't told him, "It was the first one, at the Louvre Museum."

He just nodded and told me, "Next picture." then he sat down completely and let himself press the button.

"Its just one Ashton and besides we were fighting back then. You really have to trust me." I said and he stood up.

"I trust you but I don't trust the people around you." he said and walk by the window which currently the curtain was drawn. He peeked outside. "You look shocked than excited." he said, almost whispered.

I walk towards him, just enough to create a space between us, "What did you expect me to feel?" I asked as I shrug. He was still facing the window and I had no idea what he was actually feeling, but by his voice, I thought its normal. "It is a surprise, isn't it?"

"Like atleast a little bit happy by the time you saw me? I thought you missed me?" he said and he peeked at the corner of his eyes.

I turned him around and said, "I am happy Ashton I was just shocked and I didn't expect by the day we fought, your tour would end and you'd be here."

He smirked, I was relieved, "Do you really have to define that day as the day we fought? Because by my knowledge we weren't fighting. You were jealous."

I tilt my head and had knitted brows, "No, am not." I said, calmly, trying to be an expert liar, "It was important, wasn't it? The Modest needed you."

"Why didn't you reply back? And the tour isn't over. We just had to come back for this I-don't-know-plan of our manager." he said. He was walking around the room, as if looking for something. His head turns from here to there.

I watched him as he move, "Ace came, that's the day we went to Louvre. So I thought we had our own business to do. I might as well thought not to respond."

"Until earlier?" he asked, looking back at me for a second and return to what he was doing. "You could've texted me just where and who. That's what all I wanted. It wouldn't take hours to press a few buttons on your cellphone."

I respond, sitting at the couch, back to what Ace and I were doing. "Yeah. We were busy. Didn't you see? You didn't call me Ashton or even a text and I thought you were very busy and I thought you must be very tired because if you weren't you'd call me. Right?" I said, I tried to reason out, in which I knew myself that somehow, someway, was wrong too.

He abruptly stopped, "Yeah, of course, but don't you think a little effort will cause too much?"

Mouth dropped, I looked up at him, "Isn't keeping this relationship as low as possible isn't an effort?"

Tears were trying to crumble out of my eyes and anytime soon, it would come out hastily, again, to my cheeks. I don't even want that. I never wanted someone to see me crying, even Ashton Irwin, atleast by now. I began to loose control and never in my mind I meant it to be this way. I never thought being simple would be seen as effortless in his eyes, in his mind. By his beautiful mind, as I always thought it is.

I thought I was enough, my mere existence alone. "I wanted privacy not secrecy." He said flatly.

"You should've told me what privacy meant because by the actions you're doing I felt like you wanted secrecy." I said and rushed into the bathroom and cried. Having second thoughts; marriage, Ace and Ashton, with all of these pressure in my head I don't think I'd make it out alive. I heard nothing from the outside, he must have gone out and talk to his friends about this. (If he'd go for it or not.)

I R W I N

***

Fr: Antoinette,
You adore me, you care for me. You wanted me but you didn't love me... (or atleast anymore...)

***

I was walking, by the street, and that single text made me stop. I told her mother I'd come back for dinner and she said she was glad to have me again but her daughter doesn't seem to be as grateful as her.

We were just texting, I wanted to cool things down first. As what I always do.

And she just said that I didn't loved her. Another beep. I haven't respond.

***

Fr: Antoinette,
Not until you asked me to change my family name.

***

I frowned, "Is that some English stuff or?" I asked myself and hurried to get to the hotel that the lads and my family's staying for now. To ask what does that meant.

I always almost forgot that she lives in London. That she's an English woman because she acts like American, she speaks like American but dresses like Parisian. She usually pairs black with navy blue or navy blue V-neck shirt and blue jeans.

But now I don't think you still want to marry me., Another beep.