four words [the fangirl ii - a.i]

67

S A R A H    W E S L E Y

     My mother once told me, 'Who are you praying to? Your father's not here to make your wishes come true.' It was my birthday and he had to go, never had a doubt that he won't come back. At the time, I thought of responding but I never did because I knew she had prayed for a better and beautiful family. I was too. Then, instead, she had a broken home with three kids; one girl and two boys. That's what made her loose her faith, maybe, maybe not, but she said we were enough, that He had done this for some reason.

     I was incredibly glad to be adopted by this family. It had a mother, a father and a brother who loves me unconditionally. My mother had sent me to a house, she told me it was a house, little did I know it was an organization who takes kids. Her last statement was, 'I'd come back for you.'

     I waited for her. Hours. Days. Weeks. Months. Years. Until I got adopted. Until my last hours there, I was hoping that she'd come out from the shadows and get me back, but she never did. And now, I had no news about her. I still call the organization every now and then but it was all nothing.

     Maybe she died from an old age? Maybe got another husband and took care of her? I didn't know. I was wondering where they are and if my siblings were in a safe condition.

     Maybe, this circumstances regarding Ashton has reasons as well. Right?

     Please, save him.

     Please.

     I am now praying as a child. Please save him.

     The doctor opened the door and said that he was stable for now and wait for him to wake up maybe tonight or tomorrow morning.

***

I knew it was my fault. But I never thought Ashton would act such a reckless behavior after everything. He asked who I was.

     He woke up at almost midnight. It was my duty, the guys just went to hotel for a rest. I was stunned for a moment but thought he was just messing around.

     I tried to hug him.

     He grabbed both of my wrists and said, with furrowed brows. "What are you doing?" Then threw them away. "I need to rest and think and quiet all at once." He was holding his head.

     "Maybe I need to call the nurse." I said, already holding the door and about to shout but he stopped me by saying, "DO NOT SAY A WORD." 

     "Why are you doing this?" I asked.

     "What this?," he asked. His eyes were full of innocence but it was welled with anger. "Do you think I am playing around?"

     "Thought so. Maybe. Maybe not." I wasn't convinced. He could act so effortlessly that he could make it to Hollywood if he'd try it.

     "Where is my cellphone?" He asked.

     "Maybe Luke has it or the other guys. I should call them." I said and dialled Michael.

"Did you and Ashton had a huge fight?," Michael said, "I noticed that you guys haven't talked for a while." Michael notices every single thing; it somehow felt bad and good at the same time.

     "I don't know. Suddenly, when he woke up. He was just.... off." I said, I lied. Oh how much I hate lying but Ashton said do not say anything until he figure this all out.

     When I lift my head he was already staring. Maybe trying to figure out if I was telling Michael. What was there to figure something out anyway? It wasn't a mystery or a criminal case sort of thing.

     This was him hitting his head by the window and I caused all of these.

     I stood up and went to his doctor. I saw him sat up and he couldn't do anything but to shot me with his glaring eyes.

     I told to the doctor everything. He said maybe he was still in shock. And had a short term amnesia.

    "What do you mean amnesia? B....but... I was the only one he cannot remember." I said, on the verge of crying and trying not to.

   "Selective amnesia. In this case he can or cannot remember a certain part of his life. Whether it is relationships, special talents and events." Dr. Lucido said, "By the information and events you provided. I could say that he has Selective Amnesia. What's your relationship with him?" He asked.

     "Wife. We got married. Not officially. Does that make me his wife?" I asked. Unsure of what I was to say.

The next day Dr. Lucido decided to have an experiment, and that includes me. By the way Ashton stared at me, he knew that I already told the doctor about it. The boys didn't know though. And that's what makes them insane today.

     "What is happening?" Calum asked,  completely freaking out. "What are you saying? Why are you doing this?"

     The doctor looked at him and said, "He has Selective Amnesia based on observations. And I think he has forgotten about his wife."

     Everybody went silent. Everyone stopped from what they were doing except from the doctor and the nurse.

     "Wife? I had a wife?," Ashton asked. Every head in the room was thrown at him. "That woman was my wife?"

     I couldn't believe that he was doing this. I was about to defend myself but... "How could you put such disgust on your tone saying those words?" Luke said, "She IS your wife."

     "Suspicion cleared?," I was talking to him. I didn't know what got into me that I was feeling anger instead of guilt and sadness. "I didn't tell them anything. Are you happy?"

     "What if all of you are liars?" He said. Throwing his both brows up. They were asking for some answers.

     "What?," Calum asked. Sounding sad and disappointed. He was the one he only trusts. He was laughing though, "You are being ridiculous."

     "No, am not." He said. "Maybe she's a con artist but no one can ever do better than my girlfriend. Bryana."

     What did he just say? Girlfriend? Bryana? "Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm a con artist and maybe he has a girlfriend. You take your time trying to figure all of these out. What do you think?!" I said. I was getting furious. I couldn't control it. I had no idea why but I was mad at him when in the first he was supposed to be the mad one.

     The doctor told Michael to calm me down and he lead me out the room, to the rooftop.

     "He woke up yesterday midnight. A few minutes before I called you. We were arguing about not telling to you guys." I said, had a deep sigh. 

      "But you did. To the doctor."

      "Because I believe it was the right thing."

     "Or because you were scared?" He said that made me look at him. "Scared that he may never remember you again so you told us to get some help."

     "He needed help."

     "Guess so."