four words [the fangirl ii - a.i]

48

I turned off Facetime.

"Sarah's adopted?" Luke asked as he dangles his head at the top bunk. I thought he was asleep because he stopped giggling and talking. There was this girl that he couldn't stop talking to. Like, everytime we finished a show he would text her. Not that I'm stalking Luke but you know that moment when your friend what is about? And he would smile with her reply.

He met her after the get together three days ago and they couldn't be separated.

"Sarah said so. Ace was too." I respond and locked my phone off. I received no messages, maybe Sarah was kicking Ace's butt for what he said.

I was reasonable, wasn't I? Like, she's got a fiancée now. She shouldn't be sleeping in a bed, even though they would do nothing, with another guy even they are bestfriends.

"I see. Is she okay? Like, its hard to open up something like that to you, or to anyone." Luke asked, genuine concern linger in his voice.

"I guess so. She was eating those cupcakes like no tomorrow. Maybe she's not the kind of girl who would consume herself with sadness because of what happened. She's the kind of girl who would rather find a solution than to sulk with the problem." I respond as I put my right palm at the back of my head as I lie on bottom bunk.

Luke once again surprised me when the bunk shook like there was an earthquake as he get up and looked down at me again, "How about you? Are you okay?" He asked.

"I guess so. Yeah. Maybe I am just jealous not because its Ace but because he could feel her presence." I said, pursing my lips as I tried to smiled. "He could hug her if he tried to and I know he has. You know I'm saying?"

"Yeah," said Luke and lied down again bare back with his boxer shorts on, "But Ash this tour ain't going to be that long if you cherish every bit of it. You wouldn't know that time goes fast. And that's the essence of time, it goes fast as you enjoy the very moments as longer you smile, as louder you laugh, as long as you drop bottles everytime. It would feel shorter and it would never be enough for you if you are happy to what you are doing."

He's grown up. His mind set has grown up and I am proud of him. "Yeah. You're right but I don't want to be that happy if she isn't beside me. I don't want to forget that I have her and that there is anything else that could make me that happy besides her."

"I understand," I never thought sharing a room with Luke would be this like meaningful. I mean, we exchanged perspectives (which are always different) but would understand by one another, "but its better like you could see her, you could talk to her. You could like really see her, everyday and everynight. Unlike me, we talk by the phone, ear to ear. But aren't you getting sick of it? Like you two talk everyday. Goooood!" He squealed as if he was disgusted. He isn't aware that that's what they do too, is he? Just "ear to ear".

I giggled and respond with, "You don't get sick with the people you love
no matter how many times you spend the day and night with them or how many hours you talk with them. No matter how childish they get to be, no matter how moody they get. Its like they or she is your favorite songs. And you don't get sick with them, do you?"

"It really is like that?" I heard him smiling as he asked, "It makes me scared to fall inlove."

I get up and looked at him. I held myself stand still as I hold the barrels of the top bunk. "It is scary. When you make her your whole world and was never sure if she would ever stay. But I am telling you. It is a lot more beautiful when you get over the storm," Luke and I were looking into each other's eyes and no this isn't bromance. Its a real talk. He was intently listening to me. For once in our lives, we had a serious talk. "And love, your vision with love will change with a new better idea. Now," I pointed my forefinger to him, "this girl. You're talking to. I know what you're into Hemmings."

With that I sat down and prepared myself to sink into sleep. I brought my sheets up to my waist and I heard Luke asked, "What am I into Irwin?"

I never answered.

I received a text message. From Sarah. It says: We used to sleep together with a hotdog pillow in the middle. I can never trade you with anything, with anyone. I love you Ashton Irwin. Always has and always been and always will. I may never always kept in touch but at the end of the day I would always go to my phone and remember you. Because you, you made me who am I today.

To Antoinette: (I changed her name into the name that no one knows)

Antoinette, the one who made me feel insecure about drumming, I love you. Your past doesn't define you, I am always here. You always have me. Remember? I trust you. Sleep already. Okay? *sends kisses to your forehead*

"Ash?" Luke called.

"Yeah? Aren't you sleepy?" I asked because when I look at the clock, it says 1:30 AM.

"I miss her. What should I do?"

I giggled and said. "Sleep."