four words [the fangirl ii - a.i]

54

A S H T O N

***
To: Antoinette,
I am coming back for dinner and I expect you to be there.
***

     I had to get back before dinner and it would take a time to go at the hotel and back to her neighbors. Its a long way down.

     I just decided to text Calum. Since he's the one I trust with this.

Ashton: "Not until you asked me to change my family name.", Cal, is this some English stuff or?

Calum: What is this?

Ashton: Idk, we got into a fight and she said that I didn't love her anymore and sent me that.

Calum: Idk, maybe. You guys are good? What happened?

Ashton: Just a typical type of fight. I guess, but she cried this time. She was sniffing in the bathroom. She wouldn't go out.

Calum: That's real shit. What did you do? I know Sarah won't cry over little things.

Ashton: I've been mean. I couldn't control it.

Calum: 😒😒😒

Ashton: I know and I'm coming back for dinner. See ya, maybe, probably, by tomorrow. I can't tell.

Calum: Okay. Be back early, got a practice.

Ashton: Okay.

     And now, I was standing right in front of the ocean where my father found me. Where he said it was off-limits and I found myself hoping that he was there, again.

     The waves were there, they always have been there, and for now they're the ones that's there for me. I couldn't believe that she said those things but maybe, just maybe, we were falling apart and I don't like that. Maybe she doesn't want me anymore, maybe she isn't a fan of us anymore or maybe I just got a little tighter and a little hot-headed, a little dramatic and a little demanding.

     After all, what she did was for me. She gave me a little time for myself and my friends. Time to talk to my family and just have a great time. And gave me a lot of privacy. And it was me who completely revealed our relationship. After all what all she has done was for me and what she will do and keep doing will be for me; changing her last name from hers to Irwin, getting pregnant, giving birth and build a family for me, she'll take care of us, cook for us, make sure that we get home soon and safe. After all she was just silently being there for me.

     I opened up my cellphone again and went to the camera roll. It was full of our photos, only the two of us. Last year, at the end of the year, I decided to delete the photos I already have posted online and kept ours because I haven't uploaded even one, aside from the last one I tweeted, her hand with a ring on it. It was flooded with tweets and retweets and that instant it went viral in the 5SOS family and I couldn't erase it on their minds when it was already too late.

     Listening to the sound of the waves is calming and peaceful but listening to her laughs is more cheerful. Hearing the legends die hurts but hearing her sniffing in that bathroom is just an awful thing. Talking to her over the phone is great but seeing each other and avoiding me was never cool.

     I took a jump and walk, then run towards the entrance of that slim passage through the ocean. If i'll loose her today, this ego doesn't matter to me anymore. She's more than just a person, she's more than just a personality. She's a feeling, and I couldn't turn it off, I couldn't shut her off.

     I took a ride to her house and found her reading, someone was beside her.

S A R A H

     I wish there was some way, sort of running away (again, which would be stupid). Just to get out of this mess.

But then I was hopeful that when I get out of this bathroom everything would be okay. The room had been quiet for an hour and that means that I've been here for an hour or no one's home, left alone.

      I retreated to my room with a book in front of my face on the couch, lying and my back facing the door, I had covers that hovered over me. I've bought it from a booksale its called 'Life After "Yes"'. Then I was interrupted by a voice and asked, "What are you reading?"

     I hesitated to speak, I didn't want to speak so I closed the book but kept my fingers on the page I was reading and opened it again to go back to reading.

     Before long he snatched it out of my hands and threw it at my bed. Just when I thought I smelled something burning. Worried that the house might be on fire, I began sniffing around. "What? Is something burning?," Ace asked then began sniffing too.

     I sniffed around the room that there might be a socket burning or plugged device that shouldn't, there was none and not long enough I determined where the source was. At the studio. I rushed through it and opened the door.

     The room was filled with smoke, a scented smoke which I don't know where you could get it and which I don't know how at first it would make it smells like a burning wood. It made the room blurry, looked more bluer now.

     Nothing was burning. I figured.

     That's when I knew that my drum-set was on the spotlight. The curtain was slightly opened and it was illuminated.

      I was turning around to tell mom about it and to check on other rooms if they were the ones that's burning, I felt that Ace was behind me and spoken, "Isn't that what makes you happy? Why not play it?"

     I look at them for a moment. They looked dusty, haven't played it over years but I just don't have the vibe, "Not today Ace." I said and he didn't insist it.

     "Was it that really bad that you didn't get out with an hour? In the bathroom?" He said as he follow me in the room and fixed the mess; the laptop, the pens and papers from the table, the polaroids and put the book I was reading from the bed to the table.

     I turned around. I found him staring at me, crossing his arms across his chest.

"We are reading. I'm not going to tell you anything this time." I said and he started to take his shoes off then hopped on the bed.