four words [the fangirl ii - a.i]

70

S A R A H     W E S L E Y

Apparently my husband had a girlfriend, staged girlfriend. Her name's Bryana Holly. She's a model and a role model as well. An inspiring person, really. But now, Ashton's claiming her as his girlfriend, his literal and truly one and only.

     We were at somewhere nature was preserved; fresh air, fresh water, white sand and a comfortable rest house. The doctor said it would be good for Ashton to have a break and since the guys wanted to come too and the tour was cancelled, they're here and now playing with the waves.

    Ashton didn't want to go and here I was, feet drowned in sand, cursing under my breath when he came outside again.

     He put the chair too far away from me and that made me feel that he hated me. I couldn't take what I was seeing so I came rushing inside and just read a book. What would I do in a place like this? Only with guys and Bryana and her friends were working. Yes, she was working, having a photoshoot, at the corner by the water. They're the reason why we were here. Bry informed us and all of a sudden we were all here.

     So what was I supposed to do now?

     "Are you good?," a voice asked and I could hear its footsteps coming, towards me.

     I was startled to know that it was Bry. So I sat up and respond, "I'm good. Why did you come inside? Is the photoshoot done?"

     If I were a boy I would have fallen with that sweet smile. "I'm not sure but I was worried. You came inside after seeing Ashton settling himself too far away from you." She replied.

     I smiled as well, looking down. How could an angel in disguise be with us? She was so pretty that I was starting to get jealous of how perfect she was. Inside and out. "I had nothing to do outside so I came in. But I'm good. I'm good, you should come back there now." We both giggle because we could hear people calling for her.

     "Alright. See you around." She stood up and walk but stopped at mid, "Maybe he wouldn't mind if you read with him." With that she went off.

    Maybe.

    Maybe not.

    I didn't bite the idea of Bry. I wasn't ready of how he would react, even I knew him all too well.

     I knew he wouldn't mind to be accompanied by a reader, I knew he wouldn't mind talking, I knew he wouldn't mind to have fun but his expression in the hospital told me that he wasn't ready.

     So not now, not just yet.

A S H T O N     I R W I N

Everyone was saying she was my wife but all I could remember was Bryana was my girlfriend. I wasn't convinced that it was staged because I would never have to do that just because of the band. I knew I'd find another way but not the staged relationship.

     After 2 weeks or so the only thing that we've been sharing was a glimpse of each other. I'd always catch her from afar staring then look away, fumbling with her fingers.

      Last week my head hurt and I saw this one memory, I guess, I didn't know what it was but there was me and a person by the head of a car, staring into the sleeping city of London. The person was telling me about running away but I refused and say that I respect the parents.

    That day was the day I thought that maybe, just maybe what they've been telling me was the truth. That they won't lie, its a ridiculous thing to do so, to cancel our next tours just because of it. Just because of a joke.

     Luke was talking to someone over Facetime. I came over him and asked, "Is that Arzaylea? Hi."

     "Hi Ashton. How are you feeling?," she asked. I had a feeling that he told her about my condition.

     "I am good. How about yourself?," it would be rude not to ask back. Right?

     "Babe can we talk tomorrow? I need to talk with Ashton. I love you." Luke said and turn Facetime off. He had this pissed off ridiculous look on his face, "How come that you can remember Arzy with the fact that you've only seen her once?" He asked, looking suspicious.

     "I don't even know Lucas. I just do.," I respond. "Why would you doubt me? You think I'd play something like this? Cancel all tours and stuff. God Luke, come to think of it."

     "I'm sorry. I'm just... you know? She's your wife, believe me. You've fought for her." He was smiling. Fucking weirdo. "We fought over her."

     Now he like her.

     "What?! No! Haha." He noticed because my brows were furrowed, "We fought because of her. Because I didn't want the band to be ruined just because of a girl."

     "I would've chosen you. Really." I said. Maybe, maybe not. Depends though.

     "Believe me you did not." Luke said, stood up, continuing and rolling his eyes, "Let's go down, dinner's ready. Calum just texted me."

Everyone was on the table, food was settled and seemed like Luke and I were the only missing pieces. There were three seats left; Calum's side, Bry and Sarah.

     Maybe I should atleast try, right? After all, everyone was stating that she was my real other half. Calum won't lie to me, he won't. I must believe him.

     I sat beside her and she seemed like she just saw a ghost. "Your mouth is open if you aren't aware of that." I said and after that I put some chicken on my plate. "Want some?" I asked her but she didn't seem to hear me so I just put some on her plate too.

     And closing her mouth was necessary. So I did the job.

Over the next days we were together all day, reviewed about everything. About how things used to be, how I used to be, with everyone and most especially with her.

     I actually have forgotten about Bryana not until I overheard her name. Sarah looked at me at the corner of her eyes and weakly smiled. "How did you feel about... I mean, Bry?"

     She looked over her shoulder and said, "When?," We were sitting outside, on the towel with a huge umbrella hovering us. Just trying to get the heat into our systems.

     "What do you mean when?," I sat up, looking at the side of her face. "When you knew about all of it."

     Responding, she was pouting and said, "Well, I thought about then... of course it hurt, you know?," shrugging she continued, "The world knows about the two of you, without needing to hide. Free."

     "I'm sorry. I should've considered things first before deciding something like that." I said, intertwining my both hands, elbows on top of both of my knees.

     "You didn't do anything that needs forgiveness."