Chapter 17 - Destiny

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Chapter Seventeen 

Destiny

    I sat patiently on the bed and waited for his response. I wondered what was taking him so long. I got up and began pacing. Suddenly my phone lit up and beeped and I nearly tripped over my own feet to get to it. I landed on the bed and opened the text. 

        ok i dont know how to say this so i will just say it. destiny, wen u and ur friends came to the ice cream shop 4 ice cream, i fell in love with you. i know it sounds cheesy but i did. when you came to me that night crying all i ever wanted was to put my arms around you and hug you to make you feel better. of course that would be creepy to you so i didnt. plz don't think im some creepy guy just looking for you know. i really do think i am falling in love with you and i dont know what you would say about it so i wasnt sure if i should send u this and i am just hoping u dont think this is stupid and cheesy. i just wanted u to know how i feel. 

    I gasped. I was totally shocked. I dropped my phone just as Paige passed through the door. 

    “Are you ok?” She asked, walking across the expanse of cold tile that was now my floor to sit on my bed. I hated the thought that it was now MY bed and MY room. I turned to her with a puzzled look on my face. 

    “I’m not entirely sure. Remember that Emmet guy?” 

    “Yeah. You thougth he was cute. Is everything alright?”

    “Maybe. What do you think of this?” I handed her my phone. I watched as her eyes moved back and forrth over the screen. Her eyebrows rose shortly after I handed it to her. 

    “So?” I asked. 

    “To me it seems like he is sa boy who really has feelings for you but is just shy about them.” 

    “Yeah I knew that but how should I respond?” Paige thought for a moment then opened her mouth as if to speak then closed it again. Finally she sighed and looked at me.

    “If I were you, I would resposnd…to be honest, I’m not entirely sure. Just tell him whatever your heart tells you. As for my second reason for being here, we have to sign you up and take your vitals. If you’re going to answer him, I would suggest that you do it now.” 

    “No, that’s ok. I am…I will text him later. I have to let this sink in first. Where to?” I hopped off the bed and followed her across to the door. 

    “Out here in the hall to get your height and weight.” I followed Paige out the open door .

    “Who’s that mommy?” A small voice said. I turned my head to my left and saw a young girl, probably no older than 4 or 5 clinging to her mother’s shirt. The girl’s older sister sat in a wheelchair next to a door, obviously waiting for a doctor. She had no hair. 

    My breath caught in my throat. Soon that would be me. I felt the tears start to fall. Suddenly I felt a tugging on my shirt. I looked down to see the little girl. 

    “It’s ok don’t cry. Doctors are here. They make my sissy better so they will make you better too!” I smiled. 

    “Valencia come here, leave that girl alone!” 

    “It’s ok ma’am.” Paige smiled as I led the girl back to her mother. 

    “Thank you. Sorry she was bothering you.” 

    “No problem; and she wasn’t bothering me. Thank you Valencia. I’m sure the doctors will help take care of me just like how they took care of your sissy.” I patted her head, little bouncy red curls flopped everywhere.

    “Destiny we have to go.” Paige walked over. 

    “I like that name.” Valencia said. 

    “I like yours too. Bye.” I waved as I left, turning the corner to see Valencia waving at me. 

    After I had gotten my height and weight charted, I was led back to my room. Paige informed me that they would probably be starting me on chemo pretty soon. I took a deep breath, knowing that chemo makes your hair fall out. She told me I would be taking different rounds of chemo orally, or with pills instead of shots. At least I was thankful for that. 

    "Can I wander around? Before my uh...chemo starts?" I had a hard time saying the word "chemo". It sounded foreign in my mouth, like I was trying to say something in a different language but had no idea what it meant. 

    "I guess. It's almost dark out. You will be starting your chemo tomorrow. Just be back in your room before 8." Paige said, squeezing my shoulder after we got back to my room. I nodded and she walked away, down the hall, occasionally looking at her clipboard then at the room numbers, until I couldn't see her anymore. 

    I would've given anything for my friends to be here. I could feel the tears start but I forced myself not to cry. I had to accept this. This was a part of life now. Nothing can change what happened and only I can change what does happen. I looked around and then decided against walking around, only wanting to be alone right now. 

    I opened the wide, heavy door into my room, walking across the cold, hard tile, knowing that this feeling would soon be replacing the feeling of carpet on my feet. I crawled into the bed, pulling the itchy, white, bleach-smelling covers over me. I could feel the tears start to pool on my pillow. This time I did nothing to stop them. This was my life now. It was time I got used to it. That was the last thing in my mind before I fell asleep.   

    I woke up at around 5 pm to my mom sitting on the couch under the window. 

    "Good  you're awake!" She said. 

    "Where were you?" I asked.

    "I went and got this for you." She handed me a teddy bear. It was an old kind, with buttons for eyes. One was missing. There were visible places where there was some sewing done to keep the stuffing inside. It had an old stain on it. 

    "Oh thanks mom!" I held the bear close and inhaled. Suddenly my mind went back - so far back I couldn't even remember. I just saw bits and pieces of images, a car seat, an old car, me - probably 3 or 4 years old, and this bear. Then I was back in the hospital. 

    "This was...mine when..." My mom smiled. 

    "I just found it in the trunk of the car. I know how much you loved that little thing." She came over and gave me a hug. 

    A few hours later, I was getting sleepy again. My mom said she was going to stay in the hotel down the street. 

    "You can stay here right?" I asked, not wanting her to leave.

    "I don't know what they say about that and frankly, I don't want to get in trouble. I'll only be a block away. Call anytime. Besides, with my back, I can't sleep in a chair. I'll be here by the time they give you breakfast. Now, go to sleep. Pretend we're at home and I'm just in the other room. Love you." She kissed my forehead like I was still a little girl and left. Before she shut the door I could see her start to cry. I hated how she felt like she had to be strong for me. I felt the tears come and cried myself to sleep. 

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Thanks for reading guys! Hope you liked it! :-) 

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