Our Little Secret

Chapter 84

Jack

"Is something wrong?" Jimmy asks me and I sigh yet another time.

"Everything's wrong." I admit tiredly while taking a seat in one of the garden chairs. Four deep green, plastic chairs surround a large table with a folded parasol in the middle. The table has the same design as the chairs. Typical exterior furniture, the type all these perfect families have. I despise it.
It's freezing outside and my bum gets cold quickly. Still I shall have my cigarette.

"Everything? Surely that's an exaggeration." Jimmy comments with a glee voice.

"I wish it were." I tell him and shake my head. Jimmy stares at me with a puzzled, and drunken, look.

"Do tell." He finally says intrigued. I hesitate for a second. Is he drunk enough to inherit such information? After some consideration, I come to the conclusion that yes, he's indeed drunk enough and won't remember a thing tomorrow.

"It's about a girl." I start slowly and Jimmy's eyebrows shoot up. "Yeah I know, surprise, surprise." I mutter sarcastically.

"Never thought you'd be one to have girl problems." Jimmy comments and grins.

"Neither did I, yet here I am, waist high deep in shit."

"It's that bad?" Jimmy asks, sitting up more straight. He's found a general interest in my troubles.

"It's horribly bad. She refuses to talk to me and probably see me suitable as Satan's companion." I drawl and Jimmy can't help but laugh.

"Sure sounds like she knows you." She does. At least it feels like she does, yet there's so little she know about me. Sarah's one of the few who's actually cares about me and my life. I haven't been nearly as open as I should with her.

"She doesn't know me as much as she'd like." I say after a moment of silence. Even though Jimmy's wasted beyond his mind, I will have to thread lightly and be careful with what I say.

"Why not?" Jimmy slurs, taking a sip from a beer can he brought with him out.

"Because I'm an idiot." I growl, taking in a deep breath of smoke. "I'm an idiot who can't commit myself to the one person who means the world to me."

Jimmy's eyebrows shoot up again, twice as high this time. He has a hard time focusing on me and flicker with his eyes before somewhat finding mine properly. "No way, dude!" He says excitedly, sounding very much like the guys in Pineapple Express.

"I'm deadly serious." I tell him with a stone face, not entirely happy about his reaction. Will this inflict on my reputation? Maybe I should've kept quiet.

"That's just-" Jimmy starts. "I mean, I never would've thought it possible!" He chuckles, taking another sip of his beer.

"Well it is, however there will never be anything between us. I screwed everything up." I say with self loathing.

"What happened?" Jimmy asks, patting my back in comforting way. But I barely even notice as his questions rings through my ears. What happened? That god forsaken bet happened!

"I never should've agreed to it." I mumble, my eyes unable to focus on anything in particular. "I never should've agreed to that damn bet. Everything would've been fine. It might have taken us longer time to get where we did, but at least she would still look at me like she used to. She would still crave my touch and look at me with those emerald green eyes." My throat gets thick as I speak and brings me back to reality.