Our Little Secret

Chapter 63

Sarah
I groan as I climb the last bit of the staris. Finally we are at the top of the building and can now reach the roof. Jack has already climbed an old ladder that leads up to the rooftop, however I am catching my breath at the moment and mentally preparing to climb that small ladder. Now when I say small I mean the tiniest cursed forsaken ladder in the whole world and I'm not joking. If the stairs felt unsafe, then this feels ten times worse. Its surface is all rusty and it looks as if it is about to break at any second.

"Are you coming or not?" Jack sticks out his head over the roof edge, looking at me impatiently.

"Give me a minute will you? I have to prepare myself of the potential death I might experience." I snap back, just as impatient.

"Just get up here already." He tells me with an eye roll.

"You sure are demanding. First you unexpectedly drive me to the city, just to drag me through it to this block and then you force me to climb this staircase of death and now you are urging me to climb a ladder that looks as if it is about to break any second."

"It is hard not to love me, huh?" Jack chuckles and then disappears away from the edge.

I just stand there dumbfounded. Love him? His comment has brought me to a halt. I know that it was meant as a joke, however I am fearing that it is becoming more than a joke. I don't think Jack suspects it for real, but it's scaring the shit out if me. Jack isn't a reliable guy to fall in love with, yet my heart is sinking deeper for every day that passes.

I gather myself quickly once I realize that I have been in a daze for quite some time. "The worst part about this is that it is probably not even legal!" I call out before I start to climb the ladder. Every move I make causes the ladder to shake. It turns out alright nonetheless and as long as I didn't look down, it was quite easy to manage. I expect Jack to be waiting for me with an annoyed expression when I reach the rooftop, however he is not even looking my way. Instead he is standing on the far edge, with his hands on the little wall that is built as a safety around the edges of the building. You know those who are usually build of bricks, red and dusty.

The look on Jack's face is troubled and unhappy, it is a look that disturbed me deeply. "Jack, what are we doing up here?" I ask and slowly walk up to stand next to him with my elbows on the wall, facing towards him.

"I just had to get away." He mumbles, not meeting my gaze.

"From what?"

"Everything, everyone."

"Why?"

"I am just so tired of it, you know. I am so tired of everyone always judging me, all the prejudice is making me crazy. People always expect me to act a certain way and when I don't..." He pauses and gazes out over the rooftops. "They just look at me as if I have grown two heads or something."

"Jack, has something happened?" I ask worriedly, this behavior is very odd for him.

"You aren't like that though," he turns to me and looking into my eyes. Completely ignoring my question. "No matter how I behave, you still look at me the same way. Sure you might be pissed or confused, but you still accept it. They don't, sometimes they might, but most of the time they don't. These last years I have just stopped doing stuff that seems weird in my friends eyes, and now I'm starting to doubt who I really am." Jack mumbles with cloudy eyes. I think he is talking more to himself than me.

"Jack, please tell me what's wrong." I walk up to him and lightly touch his arm to bring him back to the present. He meets my worried gaze and his blink a couple of times.

"I just needed to be alone." He says silently.

"But I am here?" I ask puzzled, pointing out the obvious.