When A Man Love (bxb)

Chapter 10

Skyler

'What the hell is going on?' I sigh to myself. This can't be happening. This is not how I planned my life to be but then again what is there in my life that had gone the way I planned. That's right,nothing. But seriously I never though that Josh Hart,the school captain football team, playboy and probably the most sexiest man alive would want to have sex with me. Is he gay? I think his bisexual cause he has a girlfriend but to kiss a me...is...is...sheesh I don't even know anymore.

The crazy thing is that he make me lose control. I admitted I kinda got further than I've thought I would back there. I didn't know his touch would feel this good cause god knows I hate the guy but weirdly he makes all of that hate dissapear in only a brief of a kiss.

I rub my face in exhaustion. Today has been a long day and I'll bet tomorrow and the day after would be longer than this day since I have to face Josh anytime he wants. I know I can't escape this. There's no way out...well unless if I want to be beaten by David till I would experienced near death than that's one way out.

I pull out my phone and set the alarm at 6.30 in the morning. I can't risk staying here any longer or I'm gonna get raped. I didn't bother changing my clothes or wash my face so I just lay in the bed when my eyes slowly drifted darkness.

I hear a rooster wailing. My alarm ringtone. I shot out of bed when I realized I'm not in my room. Sudden memories of yesterday came crashing into my mind and I quickly went out the room and down the stairs. Wait! My backpack. Shoot its inside Josh room.

What do I do? If I came in now he'll probably wake up or....not. Its worth a try. I turn back and tip toed to his room. I turn the door knob and slightly and quietly open the door. I peaked inside the room and notice that Josh is still in bed.

Once again,I tiptoed to his desk in front and slowly grab my backpack. I feel like pussy ninja but this is really nerve wrecking. I can hear faint snoring coming from the bed. As soon as I got my backpack, I walk to the door and close it.

"Skyler." I raised my head and turn to the voice that had called my name. Shit it's Miss Lorraine. "Would you care to join me in our discussion instead of sleeping?" Thank god she's polite as hell.

"Uhm...I'm sorry." I keep my head down and grab my pen as if I was paying attention again. Miss Lorraine continue in her teaching and I just blankly stare at the whiteboard. I can't stop thinking about what Josh said.

I'm a virgin. So the offer that he gave me yesterday was very tempting. The thought of losing my virginity to the school football captain and probably the most hottest guy in school were priceless. He wants to have sex with me. Why? The ultimate question that I keep asking myself. Maybe he just wants to change sides for a little bit or have a little different kind of fun or his really gay. But I don't think his gay. His entire demeanor screams manliness and ooze of testosterone. I should said yes. I should. This is not a chance to be miss.

He did mention about me masturbating him at the party though I have no memories of it at all. Great...now I'm pondering on whether to let him screw me or not. I want him to. God I do but I hate the guy. No matter how hot and tempting and sexy and gorgeous and rich and wooh...I need to like seriously keep my mind on track. Whatever... his still a jerk and I hate jerks.

People always misunderstood the term 'bad boy'. They always said that bad boys are guys who is so bad that it doesn't matter cause they're sexy as hell and no one can do anything or say anything about it cause they're just..hot. Wrong. Those people are called bad boys because as a human being they lack of humanity and intelligence. They are most likely to be evil and selfish and obnoxious and arrogant and of course criminals.

Sigh. Like I said I really need to keep my mind on the right track or I'm gonna spill out everything that's gonna be the death of me. Seriously Skyler. You suck.

Awesome...now I hate myself.

I keep stealing glances at the table across the cafeteria. Josh is talking with his friend. He doesn't look too bad now since his not being a jerk to me. Meanwhile, Jannet keeps talking about things I don't understand or even bother too so I just keep looking at him. My heart flip all the way to my back bone when his eyes were fixed on me. I turn my head away and try to avoid the feelings and adrenaline that he just cause my body to respond.

"Sky are you okay?"

"What?"

"I'm asking you if you're okay. You seem a bit distracted. Is there anything wrong?"

I look at Jannet frowning at her statement. "Yeah...I'm fine." I didn't tell her about the slave thing with Josh. God knows what she would do if she knew. I always had to make up excuses to go see Josh so that she won't be suspicious. It exhausting. My life is really a tired one to live. Hmmm...

After school I need to go to Josh house again. I don't know what I should do. One minute I want him to screw me but the next, my head screams, telling me no knowing the satisfaction that Josh will have after he had scored me. He said that he would leave me alone if I agreed to his deal. I need to make sure that he kept his word. I don't think I have enough energy or soul left in me to keep walking to his house or hear his accusation of me and not do anything about it. I can't. I would die first before going through all of that.

I look at Josh once again. Her girlfriend which I don't think I know her name is hugging his waist and they seem to be whispering to each other in a romantic way. They look like they're in love. Josh buddies were so loud you could hear what they were talking from across the room but still no one would say anything about it. I look at Josh and his girlfriend again. Deep down inside I knew that romantic gesture or loving caress like that would never happen between us. We can't like each other even if we want to. It would be too complicated. At the time, I finally found the reason to lost my virgintiy to him and make sure he leaves me alone.

I don't want Josh Hart in my life. I don't want him to have anything to do in my life. Period.