When A Man Love (bxb)

Chapter 45

      I don't know how long I was asleep but by time morning arrive, I wake up to Aunt Jessie shaking me lightly.

"Skyler, wake up honey."

I groan and yawned while my body stretch in exhaustion. I look up to the dashboard and the clock shows that it's 5 in the morning. She can't be serious.

"What is it?"

"Someone's here to see you." She whispers quietly.

"At 5?"

"Come on sweety. Hurry, he doesn't have much time."

Aunt Jessie have this look on her face that I really don't know how to describe. It seems like she's disappointed about something or maybe because I'm just seeing things.

"Okay?"

She tie her sleeping rob and walk out the door. I slowly get out of bed and walk downstairs. The house is silent and dimmed with only a few lights on. When I reach the bottom of the stairs, Josh's back come into view. I recognize that back broad shoulders from anywhere.

"Josh?" I called him.

He turn around and when I look closer, he has a bag with him. I try to make out his handsome face but fail to do so, so I brush my face and wipe my eyes again.

"Hey." He said, looking a bit sad. A lot sad actually.

"What are you doing here? What's going on?" I ask, confused and scared. This is just too weird.

"I'm leaving." He stated simply.

"To New York? Now?"

He nod.

The impact was somehow very deep. I don't really know what to say or what to do. But the inside of my heart feels like they were tightly clenched by someone and just waiting for it to stop functioning.

"How come? Why so fast?" I ask again, the tears in my eyes were threatening to fall.

"I just can't stay here anymore." But Josh tears already fallen. He sniff his nose and I can see the bloodshot red in his eyes. His been crying.

"Why not?"

He shook his head and I can see how his shoulders hunch up and down from crying like crazy. I've never seen him so fragile before and god forbid it broke my hearts to pieces to see him like this. It really does.

He wipe his now red face and walk over to me. In any other days, I would've step back or even ran away from his touch. But now, it feels like the only thing I wanted to do is hug him so tight that all of his broken pieces is healed. He grab both of my shoulders and look down to me with those mesmerizing hazel brown eyes.

"Listen to me. I love you Mason."

My eyes widen at the word. He can't-it's not...possible.

"I love you." He said it again.

I was starstruck for I don't really know what to say. Do I love him? I mean all the bullying and all the pain he caused me? Just because he say it now, that I forgive him?
But I don't hate him. I never really did. I always knew that what he was going through was just as bad as mine but he just have his own way of projecting it.

"I know you won't believe me. Hell, I could hardly believe it myself. But I do. I really do love you."

"Don't say it like that. We'll meet again. I'll call you." I assure him.

He shook his head again.

"Stop shaking your head." I whined as in this rate, I was scared and frantic for what this moment would bring us to.

"Listen to me. I want apologize for everything that I have done to you. Be it the bullying or...or everything else, I just want you to know that I never really mean any of it. It was just me being stupid and immature. I really hope you would forgive me."

"I do. I forgive you. I always had."

"Thank you." He look to the ground in guilt.

"Josh?" He look up to me. "Please don't go." It's true, I don't want him to leave me. All of a sudden I feel so insecure.

"Skyler Mason..." He shook his head, smiling at me, "You are the most amazing thing that had ever happen to me and I swear I won't forget you. What am I talking about? I can't even if I want too."

"Josh." Just then I cry my heart out. I look at him and I cry. I look at him so that he could see how painful it is what his doing right now. So that he could see that I need him too.

"Please don't cry." He coed me.

"But...you're...crying too." I said, my breath hunched with my shoulders.

"That's my point." We manage to let out a giggled.

"Josh...please..." I whisper to him.

"I know...I know..." He whisper back. Our face were inches away from each other and when I feel his hot breath on my forehead, he meet our lips together. Josh kiss me tenderly. He kiss me with delicate delight and I can feel my knees weaken.

I pull him into my arm and kiss him back. Giving as much as he gives me. I don't know how long the kiss is but by the time it ends, it was just not long enough.

Josh place his forehead on top of mine and close his eyes. I look at him closely. Imprinting every little detail he has on his face. Lying to my heart that I will always remember how he would look. The truth is, when you try to remember someone too hard, the harder it gets to let go and when you can't let go, you can't live rightfully.

"Take care and never, ever forget about me. Ever." He said, his eyes still close.

"I won't I promise."

He open his eyes again and another swarm of tears fall down. He look at me just like how I imagine my one true love would. He look at me as if trying to hold on to let go.

"Take care." He started to let go of my hands.

"Wait." I call him. Holding on to his right arm. "Just wait, please..." I beg.

He shook his head. "I can't. I just..." He cries again.

I pull him into a hug and embrace him tightly. I rub his back and sniff his scent along the line of tracing my lips through the line of his neck.

"I know, I know." I said again but reality is, my heart couldn't have feel more hurt for this goodbye. Just when I was hugging him, Josh escaped from my hold and walk back to the front door. He opens it and look back to me with a smile. The smile that have never faltered to depict his beautiful feature.

"I guess I'll see you in my dreams Mason."

With that, he walk out of the door and most possibly out of my life. I sat on the staircase to hold on to my weakened body. My hands were shaking and it feels suffocating that my tears were blocking my view from any kind of sight.
Just when I thought I couldn't be anymore hurt, I burst into tears as the morning dimmed light greeted my wounded heart.