When A Man Love (bxb)

Chapter 48

      I lay my head on Josh big muscly arm which of course have grown bigger through out the years. I touch his pointy nose and trace my fingers along his eyebrows and jaw. How can he ridiculously get more gorgeous?

His eyes were close and he look so peaceful sleeping as if there's nothing in this world that could harm him. Not even god himself. Just when I were playing with his finger and arm, Josh push me around until he face my back and he wrapped his arm around my naked body with his.

We were tangled together and truth to be told, I've never been in such position with another man. Kiss another man, yes, but lying in bed naked, never.

      After he left, it felt as if there was no one left for me. As if I will never be able to love anyone anymore. He makes me feel suffocated for the first few years but during college, I met some new friends but never really meet a new guy for me to share my love with. Not like Josh.

I've had boyfriends but never really shared anything sexual or truly love them. I'm one of those people who prefer it after marriage as I pinpoint it to them and maybe that's why none of them stick around. Got tired of waiting I guess.

But when I'm with Josh? It feels completely different. I could surrender everything to him and I won't be betrayed. I feel as if I could give him everything without expecting the same because you just know that he will always feels much more than you do. Love you more than you do.

The one thing I am sure is the fact that I love this man with all my heart and I managed to love him even when his not with me for all those years. I still managed to love him even when I couldn't hold him and have him beside me.

"What time is it?" Josh held me tightly in his arm as his breath were hot on the back of my neck.

"I don't know but it's night time."

"I love you." He say it again.

"I love you too."

"I'm sorry."

"I forgive you."

"I need you."

"I know."

"Stay with me?"

I turn around and look into his eyes, his dull and tired eyes.

"Forever."

Josh smile sadly and kiss me softly as he bring me into his arm and held me in a warm embrace. Compared to all those many memorable years, I would've never guess to be in such position. He was very tormenting and full of threats. Now, he looks as if I'm gonna break him into a pile of pieces if I'm not careful.

"Josh, what happen to you?" I look into his eyes when he released the kiss.

Josh only managed to smile sadly again and stared into my eyes. I don't want him to tell me something that his not ready to share. I'll wait. If I can wait for 10 years, then another 10 won't hurt.

"I love you so much." He say it again.

"If you say it too many, you're gonna sound like a crazy obsessed stalker, you realize that right?"

"Well then...sorry to burst your bubbles but I already am."

Josh open his mouth as if to bite me and tickle my waist at the same time. I squirm in laughter and try to avoid his hands in any way possible.

"Stop! Stop! Josh!"

"Ngang...ngang...ngang
..here comes the stalker!"

He jump on me with his naked feature and touch me all over. I laughed loudly and push his hands away. I were embarrassed at the same time just because I can feel his man part on my stomach.