When A Man Love (bxb)

Chapter 44

"I'm sorry but I'm afraid such thing just won't happen." She look at me in the eye and said it sternly.

I wanted to beg but the self respect I have left forbid me not too. What I was doing was indeed ridiculous and there's just no fucking way what I want is gonna get to my hand that easily. Sky was not a thing because if he is, then all of it would've been easier and better. But he is a person, he has family that love him and friends that cared about him. So, the universe make an unlikely rule that there is a limit age to really understanding what you need to do to start living your life which is when you have a steady job. A fucking stupid thing that only stupid and boring people would live up to. I mean, now is the perfect time to start. If not now, then when exactly?

"You know what Jessie? I think I'm gonna let Sky decides that don't you think?"

"Well, if you say so then...ask him. I'm sure he knows what he would want in his life and I'm sure it's not another torture of being stranded in a foreign place."

Shit this woman is good.

"And if he say yes, then you need to let him go right?" I ask seriously.

"Yeah whatever you say. I somehow know for sure that his not gonna go, so...do what you think is right yeah?" Jessie sip her coffee calmly.

Now she's just being annoying. That confidence is gonna eat her alive one day but somehow she managed to make me see the resemblance she has over me.

"Okay. I will."

+++

        The ride home was a mess just because my head were filled with things. For the strangest reason I don't even know what are those thing are. I mean, I'm fucking 19. I should be banging chicks and drinking...in college. Not figure out a way to bring a guy with me to New York!

But that's just it.

Sky is not just another guy isn't he? I don't know what it is but there's this feeling where you just can't help but justified to your heart that were screaming to you that the guy standing in front of you is gonna be the love of your life.

What the fuck am I saying?!

Okay, what I mean is that it is reasonable to look at someone and see a future with that person. To imagine a quiet little house in the middle of a farm and two of the most beautiful twins playing with a toy. A boy and a girl. Ironically the boy is wearing a blue shirt while the little lady wears a pink dress.

You would be riding on a horse and then he would come out of the house with all his beauty. To ask us to go inside and prepared for dinner. The little scoundrels would run on their little feet when you playfully ushered them inside the house.

And when the children are out of sight, you would take him into your arms and throw him in the air romantically. You would kiss with smiles. Look at each other with your heart. Embrace him like you embraced a warm blanket in a cold night. In fact, he is the only warmth in your life. You would whisper loving words to him and he would mean the world to you.

No, even the world wasn't
meaningful enough compare to him.

Okay, that was fucked up. I can't believe I'm daydreaming in the middle of driving. But see?! That's just crazy how love is. How crazy I am.

After a more mess of thought, I parked the car in the garage. Soon enough I was strolling through the hall when the great Mr.Hart called me. I heard his voice echoed through his office on the first floor.

I walk in and confidently stood in front of him.

"So? How is your progress on moving to New York going?"

"I'm going."

"Good."

"But I'm taking Mason with me."

He looked up at me abruptly. He squinted his eyes and I have no fucking idea what that meant.

"Okay. You can keep a secret lover if you want too. That's not a problem with me. But make sure our family reputation is not false by any of your man or women."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Secret lover? Family reputation? The fuck is wrong with this old bat?!

"I mean that you will not reveal him to the family.members nor would you introduce him to our world."

"So what am I supposed to do? Fucking keep him like a statue?!"

"That's your responsibility! You should've known what your life is all about when you're born in this family you ungrateful piece of shit!!!"

His voice echoed rather loudly throughout the whole entire room. I gotta admit, I was a little bit scared. Shitless as a matter of fact.

"His coming with me and we..."

"What?! You'll what? You're gonna get married? Don't tell me your that stupid." He smirk like the satan himself is not evil enough compare to him.

"Why not?" I ask again and god forbid I hear the voice in my confidence faltered.

"Simple. It's because you can't. Because you are the next inheritance of the Hart corporation that have billions of stocks and shareholders. Not to mention our business outside the of country that god knows how many billion more. We are the upper class of professionals and we don't interact with lowlifes." He leaned on his elbow getting closer to spewed out words I know will haunt my nightmares. "Because you are my son and I refused to have a faggot in my family. Ever." He stated calmly but the threat was there and it was enough for me to be scared out of my mind. Not because of him, but because of what will Sky's become if he ever be with me. What kind of dreadful life would he live if I were the one to love him and him by my side. How can I be so stupid and selfish? How can I be so disgusting?

"I thought I told you not to push me Josh. You want to take that Mason boy with you but I can assure you that its not gonna be New York. Why do you have to be stupid like your brother? You people always give me problems!" He flair his hand in the air.

"Don't call me that." I growl lowly. My temper felt like they were way beyond the limits and just thinking about this dreadful life I've been living just make me more and more angry but to who, I have no idea. I wanted to blame Sky for ever stumbling into my life and messed it all up but my heart forbid me to do that. He is not the one to blame. His the only answer I have left in my life.

"What?!" He snapped.

"I'm not your fucking son!!!" I spewed out the words and dash through the door to my room. Tears feels like they were seconds away from falling and my heart clenched tightly till the room for air was blocked from my system.

I try to blink my eyes from the blurry sight the tears cause me. Fucking stupid fucking son of a bitch!!!

I was cursing and yelling and throwing stuff until it was clear enough the room is in a spiral disaster. For the first time in my life I couldn't feel pathetic enough for myself for being...just me.

Mason...

What am I gonna do?

What choice do I have?

How will I live?