Head over Heels || book one.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stef’s POV

‘Shit. Shit. Shit. Where’s my phone?’ I feel nervously around the bedside table, my hand gently tracing over all the items there. None felt like my phone. ‘Shit.’

I turn over, trying not to freak out, when I see a glow reflecting off the wall. Louis, is sitting on the floor, my phone in his hands. “Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to wake you. I didn’t know you read fan fiction either.” He exclaimed. I felt myself go red. “And am I right in saying you write it too?”

I nodded slowly. He chuckled. “What? You guys are awesome. Wait...you’re not reading mine are you?” I shrieked. He laughed again. “Louis William Tomlinson, you give me back my phone right now, or so help me, you will sleep in the living room.” I exclaimed.

“Ok, ok. Settle your kettle.” He put his hands up in defense and threw me back my phone. I caught it, then hesitated.

“You say settle you kettle? I do too!” I grinned from ear-to-ear. He rolled his eyes and grinned.

Cassie’s POV

‘Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Everyone. Even me for thinking that he could like me. He wouldn’t fall for me. I mean, he’s some famous guy desperate for a girlfriend for publicity.’ My thoughts halted for a moment then as I gasped. ‘I bet he planned that too. Make me fall head over heels for him and then throw me out of his life.’ I sighed as I rested my head down on the couch. I heard a door creak and thought that it might be Zayn coming to beg for me to come back to him. But whoever it was strode right past the couch and out the front door.

I sat up and looked around in the dim room. Zayn’s door was open. It was him. But he hadn’t said anything to me. I was still in his sweatshirt.

I got up and went out the front door of their apartment. I stood outside the elevator and thought about where Zayn might go. ‘He could have run away! Why would he do that? Lobby...why? Pool...Middle of London in winter...nope. Smoke? Yes.’ I snapped my fingers as it came to me. I pushed the ‘up’ button on the wall and waited for the elevator.

As it opened I walked in and pressed the top floor, which was like a gazebo type thing. ‘Ding.’ The elevator indicated that I was at the top. As the doors opened, cold air rushed around me, suddenly the world was not in the palm of my hand. The rain had stopped and left a glistening light on the floor from all the other buildings reflecting their lights. I saw smoke lines trailing quickly across the sky, I looked over to my right and saw him, leaning against the edge of the railing, facing towards me, back against the railings.

“Hey,” I said it like the most casual thing in the world. He nodded in my direction and looked out over the edge of the railing. “D-do you come up here often?” Why was I saying all this? I mean, he was the one who had strewn me out and yet I was the one who’d seemingly come back begging for his forgiveness.

He nodded again, but this time spoke, “I didn’t think you’d find me.” He mumbled.

“I just...know where to look.” I smiled. He just looked away. In my frustration, I sighed, not to mention loudly, and he looked up at me, confused. “Tell me how you’re supposed to breathe with no air.” I observed.

At first, he cringed at the idea of having to explain smoking to me. Then he sighed, snuffing his cigarette out on the railings. I looked along the railings; dark ashen along the top, but only in some places. Some places where he’d snuffed out his cigarette majority of the time. He’d been up here lots. He’d smoked up here lots. He’d smoked lots. “Is there any point in me explaining this?” He gestured to the cigarette. “You’ll only hear what you want to.” He looked up at me with sorrowful eyes then. “And why I can’t-”

“Can’t you forget about the reasons why you can’t? You only need to find one good reason why it will...or do you not even have that much hope?” I blurted out. I regretted it as soon as I’d said it. But he didn’t look dismayed, he looked quite indifferent actually.

“Tried and failed.” He said simply.

“Tell me that you can’t find one good thing in each day for a whole week and I won’t say another word about any of it.” I bargained.

His brow furrowed in thought. “Why should I trust that you won’t ask about it again?”

“Why shouldn’t you?” I said sharply. His lips; pursed into a thin line, his outline as his most distinctive feature currently.

“Ok.” He agreed quietly. He disposed of the cigarette and followed me back to the elevator. We stood there, waiting for it, side by side. But each feeling completely alone.

Sarah’s POV

We sat for an eternity, by the window. “I need a nickname for you.” I said softly after a while.

“Why? Don’t you like my name?” He asked lightly.

“No. But you call me ‘love’, so it seems only fitting.” I explained.

“No. I like my name and you call me that all the time and for that I love you.” He kissed my forehead and pulled me up closer to him. I pretty much melted right there and then. “What?” He asked.

“Nothing. It’s just...a best moment.” I summed up.

“Uh-huh.” He agreed and we sat in the silence.

It’s amazing how so much can happen when nothing is said. It’s just that solemn silent bond that can’t be broken by anything other than noise. So much was said in those silent minutes, so much that I would never have the words to say, that’s why it was silent.

“So...a dinner date?” I asked, turning to face him.

“Would you like a dinner date?” He asked smirking.

“Of course I would.” I insisted.

“Hey. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?” He asked me suddenly.

I paused a moment to ponder on his question. “If I could go anywhere in the world, I would go to Santorini island in Greece...why?” I asked curiously, looking deep into his eyes. They say that the eyes are the window of the soul, but his revealed nothing.

He shook his head. “No reason.”

“Okay then,” I eyed him, wearily. “Where would you go?”

“I’d like to go to New York and then California.”

I nodded at his response.