iMessage | Kian Lawley | COMPLETED

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- Kian -

It's been a crazy two years, well almost two years...

The world tour was epic, I'd never experienced anything like it, travelling the world with my best friend couldn't even begin to explain how lucky and thankful i was to have such an amazing job, to have the fans from all over the world support us with every inch of there cute little hearts. I've honestly never felt more alive.

As for Abbey, well. I don't even know where to begin. I honestly don't even know what happened. I know I'm the blame though, for it all. She lost me, because i lost myself. I focused all my attention to everything back here at home instead of her, i cant even imagine how she was feeling, and i was to scared to ask. Somewhere along the way, i just stopped replying, because i was to busy or just to stressed out to talk to her, by the time the tour was over it was to late. Jc mentioned that he invited her to come visit us on our Australian tour, when she declined he had asked me what was going on, that Abbey wouldn't tell him a thing. I waved it off and lied, i told him everything was fine and that she told me that she was to busy with other commitments, that she'd catch up with us the day after the show. When that day came, i simply told him she couldn't make it. Jc hasn't mentioned it again, but i know they secretly still keep in contact and speak from time to time. We never officially ended things, we weren't even together, but i never ended what i started. I was an asshole, and ill never forgive myself. She never stopped trying, but i did. I will spend the rest of my life regretting my choices, because my choices and anxiety lead me to losing her completely. I know all i had to do was send her a text, call her... send out a tweet, but she's probably moved on by now. I hope she's happy, wherever she is. I miss her every single day.

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- Abbey -

Why was i back in Los Angeles? That was a good question. The last thing i wanted was to run into Kian. Kurt had asked me to come with him. He had YouTube and business commitments here for the next few months and invited me along, i said no at first, but we both knew how badly i needed a break. Even if that meant i would be in the same city as Kian, Los Angeles and California were big places and the odd's were slim id run into him. The events Kurt knew of that Kian was attending we agreed that i wouldn't go to. Eventually i agreed, plus Kurt didn't want to be here alone. Jc and i have kept in contact and we organized some time to hang out over the next few months, he still didn't know what happened with Kian, and i was going to tell him everything. I couldn't lie to him anymore, i didn't want to lie to anyone at all. I hated caring so much for someone who broke me.

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- Abbey -

Kurt and i checked into our hotel earlier today, we were planning to get an apartment in a week or so to let out for a few months, hotels can get pricey. He went out to attend a meeting, while i napped all afternoon. I got hardly any sleep on the plane and i was exhausted. It was now late afternoon and i had just woken up not long ago. I showered, for longer then usual. Drowning in my own thoughts as the hot water ran down my skin. Being back in Los Angeles was already giving me anxiety and i hated it. After i got out, i got dressed. It was warm here in La, so i threw on some short shorts and a loose t-shirt and some old converse. I let my hair fall at its natural state which was wavy, my makeup was minimal, i put a bit of highlighter on the inner corners of my eyes to make them pop. I threw on a pair of sunglasses and grabbed my bag, heading out the door.

I don't know how, but i walked around for hours, countless hours. I got lost at one point, but found my way to the grove in the middle of the city. Tired, i sat down on the edge of a fountain to rest my feet. I closed my eyes pulling my hair out of my face, then sipped on my vanilla bean frap from starbucks. I needed to calm down, i wasn't ready to be back here and don't know why i even agreed now.

I stood up, readjusting my bag on my shoulder before starting to walk. My phone had gone off in my bag. I dug it out, it was a message from kurt.

Kurt – hey you. Im done with my meetings and came back to the hotel. Where are you??? Lets go out for dinner.

I was about to reply when i ran into something, or someone. Whichever it was, it was tall and hard. My drink had fallen from my left hand, falling to the ground, thank god it was almost empty otherwise id be wearing it. As for my phone, i almost dropped it but managed to save it.

"sorry" i mumbled.

"it's my fault" an all to familiar voice said.

I looked up to be greeted by a face who completely ruined my exsistance.

"kian?"