Definitions

Prologue

Sideman, noun.
A loud, obnoxious British male, may be one of seven specifics, overflowing in banter, with more boost than the entire Cadbury Factory, and enough puns to be divided across Europe and still have too many.

And there's seven of them. Although they're very loud, and together they make more noise than the Russian Air Force, my world would suck without them. I'd like to introduce them to you, one by one, and what better time to do it than when they're recording a helium challenge video together?

We'll start with my brother's best friend, Vik, the one on the end there. He's known to his youtube subscribers as Vikkstar123, and various other nicknames such as cheatstar123. Vik plays the almighty troll of looking nothing like his British accent suggests he should, because of his Indian heritage. I've been friends with Vik for a number of years now. We record together at least a few times a week, along with my older brother Lachlan. Vik is like an awkward potato sometimes, but he says the most random hilarious things, which is probably why he and my brother get along so well. However, when he starts on the puns, you know it's time to peace the scene.

The guy Vik has just smashed with an egg is named JJ. Well actually he's not, but just call him JJ, or Jide, and he'll be happy. And I may as well call him black right now, because he will eventually if I don't myself. JJ has been doing youtube the longest out of all of us, and he has nearly double the subs on his main channel than I have on my own. He is known as KSI, or KSIOlajideBT. JJ is insane, in the sense that I actually have no idea what he will do next. I don't think anyone does. And we love it.

Sitting next to JJ is Simon, who is one of my best friends. In fact, we would probably be best friends, if he didn't live in England, and I in Australia. On YouTube, he's known as Miniminter, and a million other gamertags such as Nimrod and Stimpy. Next to my friends Freya and Emily, Simon is the person I'm closest to. He, Tobi, and I play a lot of soccer together when we're in the same country, although the two of them try to trick me into calling it football, which is what they call it in England. The three of us have a lot of fun together, and although they're both amazing at football, I still manage to beat them. Occasionally.

Standing behind Simon is Josh, who apparently has no idea what is going on right now. The deal with this helium challenge they're doing is they have to suck in helium and speak, and if you laugh you get egged. Only Simon's laughed twice now and Josh is clueless. Josh and Simon are pretty
close friends, and spend a lot of time together, partly because they're so close in age, (their birthdays are like three days apart) but mostly because their sleeping schedules happen to be the same, which is a pretty big thing for two youtubers. Josh is known on youtube as Zerkaa, or ZRK. He is a really chill kind of person, and I find myself going to him for advice, because he can think through situations logically, which is something my wild brain struggles to do. I'd like to say he's the polar opposite of Ethan or Harry, but all of them are really great guys.

Standing next to Josh is, (speak of the devil) Tobi Lerone, aka TBJZL, aka black goalie, aka... Tobi seriously, why do you have so many nicknames? Tobi is the only person I know who truly has  swag - he has amazing style. He might be the sweetest person you will ever meet, but he  definitely doesn't mind egging Ethan every single time he lets a laugh escape, which is a lot. Tobi is amazing at both FIFA and real life football. Even Simon admits that, although Simon somehow manages to beat him almost every time they play FIFA.

The final person is Ethan, if you can see him through the piles of raw egg that Tobi's been decorating his person with. Ethan laughs at everything. This is not an exaggeration, he actually finds everything hilarious, and his laugh is so contagious that it makes everyone else laugh too. I also laugh a lot, though not nearly so much as Ethan. Ethan, like Tobi, Harry, and I, don't live in the sideman house. Ethan doesn't live too far away from the Sidemen, so he visits them quite often to join in challenge videos they record together.

The only sideman who's not there at the moment is Harry, and he's in Hawaii, the lucky boy. However, when he gets back to England in a week's time, he's finally moving to London to live with two other Youtubers known as Callux and Calfreezy. Hope that doesn't get too confusing for him, living with two Callums. Harry is a great friend, and he can be pretty hilarious sometimes. He has the tendency to overreact to everything, and by that I mean screaming and yelling like a four year old, throwing chairs, and jumping on his bed. He's is a bit obsessed with crazy challenges too, which comes back to bite him sometimes, like the time he decided it would be a good idea to eat an entire ghost chilli. He spent two hours in a cold shower with a bottle of milk after that incident.

So there you go, you've met the sidemen. You still haven't met me. But enough of the introductions. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still defining who I am. But if I've learnt one thing in my life, it's to decide for yourself who you are, and never to let others do it for you.