Definitions

Chapter 19: The Good and the Bad

Falling, verb.
Everything falls at the same speed. The only way you can change the length of time you fall for is by changing the distance you fall. But there is really only one way to fall, and that is hard and fast. 

Chapter nineteen: The Good and the Bad
Simon was quiet on the drive home. I knew he was thinking about something, and when I looked at him, I could see slight frown lines indented in his forehead.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked him. He glanced at me, and his face broke into a slight smile.
"You," he said bluntly. I frowned.
"What about me?" He was quiet again for a moment, thinking about his answer.
"You basically just brother zoned me, if that's even a thing, and I'm not sure how I feel about that." I was confused, before I remembered I had called him 'bro' on Twitter. Was he really worrying about that? I sighed.
"That was on Twitter, Simon." I said. "I didn't even think about that."
"I just wonder about our relationship," he said. "Do you see me as a brother, or how close are we? I just... I literally notice everything about you, and you're confusing me."
"I don't even know what we are," I sighed. "In my head, I call us best friends, but I am bad at this. You tell me, are we best friends, or is that just what we tell everyone?"
"Honestly Jordyn, I think the first day you got back here, after being away for so long, you know when we ate pizza and talked for ages, that's when it really started being more than friends. But I don't think I realised until a few days ago that I need you in my life. But I'm scared that I'm going to loose our friendship if I want something more than you do. So you need to tell me, what do you want?" My mind ran over his words, and my thoughts and feelings of the past few months. Simon was quiet, waiting for my response.
"I think I want the same thing that you do," I said quietly, starting out the window. "But Simon, I want to enjoy falling in love, I don't want it to all happen at once, if you know what I mean. Kind of like you were saying, I want to notice every little thing about you, and hold on to every moment." I could see Simon's face out of the corner of my eye, and he was smiling. He shook his head at me, and reached for my hand, and took it. I finally turned to look at him. His blue eyes were shining brightly, and he had the faintest smile on his face. It was cute.

Maybe Josh was right. We did have it bad for each other.

We ended up at the sidemen house again later in the evening. I'd been home, and showered and changed after soccer training, and since I was ahead on my videos, I decided to hang out with the other guys at the house while I waited for Simon to record his FIFA for the day.

"Hey Jord, I'm skyping the pack guys if you wanna come say hi," said Vik, entering the kitchen where Josh and I were talking. "We were just saying we'd not talked to you in a while." I shrugged.
"Sure, why not?" I smiled. There was a good reason why we hadn't talked in a while. I'd been avoiding them for about two weeks, and my fans had been complaining about the lack of minecraft content on my channel. However, I was in a sociable mood, so I decided I might as well go and see what they were up to. Vik and I climbed the stairs together, and we entered his room.
"Look who I found!" I grinned, sitting down in his desk chair. "A wild Jordy!"
"Jordy!" Yelled Preston through the Skype call, seeing me perch on the arm of the chair next to Vik.
"Hey P," I smiled. "How are you guys?"
"Good, but we never see you anymore!" Said Lachlan. "I texted you like a week ago, and you never replied."
"Sorry," I smiled. "I guess I forgot about it."
"We're starting How 2 Minecraft season 2 in about a month and a half," said Mitch. "I put you on the invite list, but then minecraft was basically RIP on your channel. But I'm guessing you'll still join the series?"
"Yeah, of course," I grinned. "I'm actually super excited for that. I was just taking a break from minecraft for a while, to be honest."

We continued to chat about random things. I had to admit, I'd missed these guys, and I'd missed minecraft. As we chatted, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and I pulled it out. Simon had texted me.

Simon - I'm done :) where you at?

Jordyn - Vik's room he's skyping the pack

Simon - how's things with u lot?

Jordyn - better. Guess I missed them ha.

Simon - I prefer your brother at a distance too

I chuckled slightly at my phone, and began typing a reply.
"Who ya texting, Jord?" Asked Lachlan, curiously.
"Simon," I replied automatically, without looking up. I heard Lachlan sigh.
"Jordyn, remember what I told you?"
"What, and I can't make my own decisions?" I replied, looking up at him. He didn't reply. "I'm nineteen, Lachlan. I get that you want to look after me, but I've grown up. let me do my thing."
"Jord, he's just looking out for you," said Rob. "Maybe he's right about this." I didn't think much of this statement, other than slight annoyance at him entering into our sibling feud. Then it hit me like a tonne of bricks. I stared at my brother.
"Wait, you told them?!" I yelled.
"So?" He said. "They're our friends, you can trust them, right?" I glared at him, realising I'd never known what betrayal felt like before until then.
"It was never your place to tell," I stated. Everyone was silent. I sighed, and looked back at my phone. I hit send on my text to Simon.

Jordyn - I'm coming up. Kill me omg.

I glanced at Vik, who was looking at me sympathetically.
"I'll be in Simon's room if you want me," I sighed. He nodded wordlessly, and I left the room, closing the door quietly behind me.

A/N: so much happened in this chapter. The first half when they're in the car literally took me fifteen hours minimum to write over the past week. I'm not exaggerating either, that's how bad I am with emotions! And then it got a good hour of editing when I typed it up this afternoon lol. Ah well hope you enjoyed :) <3