There Are Worse Things I Could Do

Chapter 27: It Would Be Better If You Didn't

Trigger warning again. Just mentions of cutting and suicide no actual actions.
  All you wanted to do was cry. You are still trapped in this darkness with your thoughts. You know you're not dead, so what's wrong with you? You need to get out of here. You gather up all of your energy and try to open your eyes. You try and try and suddenly your (y/e/c) eyes burst open.

You're in a hospital room again. Not again. Why do you constantly end up here? Because you're a fuck up. That's why.

Oh great still haven't escaped your petty thoughts.

You look around you and see doctors and (Y/F/N) there was one person you're not sure you wanted to see. Aidan. You wanted Dan right now. You turn your head and see Phill sitting in the corner. No Dan. That's how you know you really fucked up.

Wait.

How is Aidan here? You thought you were the only one who knew he was in London. Thin is hits you. She knew. (Y/F/N) knew this entire time. You look back to them and see they are talking. Rage heats up inside of you but you do nothing.

You glance at your arm. The cut had 10 stitches. Damn. Worse than you thought. The doctors notice you're awake and come over.

"Miss (Y/L/N) it's good to see you awake." The doctor says. She is young. Very young. Almost too young to be a doctor.

You smile and say, "What happened?"

You very well knew what happened. (y/f/n) comes over and so does Aidan and Phil. Phil looked very tiered. You can't imagine why. (Y/F/N) had very red eyes and bags underneath. You know you'd be the same way if she was in the bed. Aidan looked tiered too. Still sexy but really tiered. You only wanted to see Dan.

"Well there's no way to put this lightly." The young one says.

"When you cut your arm open. You lost a lot of blood. You hit a great amount of veins. You were horribly close to the brachial artery." Another doctor says.

"You are going to need to stay here for a few days." Young doctor says. "We also recommend visiting a psychologist."

Just fucking wonderful. (Y/F/N) takes your hand and gives it a light squeeze. You glance at Aidan who has no expression. Phil takes your other hand being careful about the stitches.

The doctors leave. And (Y/F/N) kneels down next to the bed.

"You're going to be okay." She says. Her voice is croaky.

"(Y/F/N) you can go home. You don't need to stay here. You need to get some sleep."

"No, you need someone right now."

"No, you need sleep. Phil can stay if you really want."

Phil nods and smiles a bit. (Y/F/N) stands up and leans to give you a hug. You hug backward one arm and she leaves. Now you're left with Aidan and Phil.

"(Y/N) do you mind if I go get some food from the cafeteria?"

"Not at all" you say but then instantly regret.

Phil get up and leaves. Now you're left with Aidan.

He pulls a chair and sits where (Y/F/N) was. He takes your hand. The action send shivers down your spine. You can't like him. You have to get Dan back. Well...it wouldn't be cheating on Dan since he already left.

"Are you alright?" Aidan asks.

"Not really."

He looks you in the eyes. His eyes are brown like Dan's. There's something different in Aidan's eyes. They aren't as warm and loving as Dan's but you can see by the look in Aidan's eyes, he does love you.

You move over and pull Aidan's hand to make him come up onto the bed with you. You didn't care who he was and what he did, you just needed some one to cuddle with.

"Can we talk about what happened last night?" He asks lightly.

"Yeah."

"You were drunk right?"

"Very drunk."

"Was there any emotion behind it?"

That one made you think. Was it just because you were losing your shit and got drunk? Or was it because you found your ex that you didn't want to let go of?"

"Yes."

He hugs you with his toned arms and kisses your cheek. The actions make butterfly's in your chest. For a moment you forget about Dan.

"I'm so happy you're not dead because I'm so in love with you (Y/N)"

You just think 'it's better if you didn't.'

You press your lips against his and he kisses back immediately.