There Are Worse Things I Could Do

Chapter 38: Death of a Bachelor (con't)

  Maybe this was just a bad dream. You kept trying to wake up but tears spilled when you realised that you were awake. As if the nightmares at night weren't bad enough now your life is becoming one.

You started to cry heart wrenching tears. The kind that tear you apart inside.(like how some people cried when Zayn left 1D) you couldn't breathe but you couldn't stop either. Your entire body crumbled into the soft cushion of the couch. When you try to process what happened you cry even harder.

The only good thing is that you could hear again. You could hear (Y/F/N) on the phone. She was talking fast and you could hear the sadness in her voice. Dan and Phil came running through the door. Dan ran right up to you and wrapped you up in his arms. Phil knelt down in front of you and took one of your hands. The feeling of being wrapped up in someone's arms reminded you of Aidan and made you cry more.

Why are you crying? You have Dan. Dan is right in front of you. You're in his arms. You're not alone. You're crying because the last time you saw Aidan was when he stormed out of your flat because you didn't chose him. You were probably the reason why he was so drunk. This is all your fault.

Dan picks you up and takes you out of the flat. The two others follow close behind. You knew what they were doing. They were taking you to see him one last time. You couldn't handle that right now. You sobbed even more. You clung on to Dan for dear life. You could see (Y/F/N) and Phil talking behind you. Their voices weren't loud enough for you to hear. You didn't want to hear anyway.

Everyone gets into the car. Phil gets in the drivers seat and (Y/F/N) sits in the passenger seat. Dan, still carrying you, sits in the back and pulls the seatbelt over the both of you. Your legs are on both sides of him and your head is against his chest. He stokes your hair as Phil takes everyone to the hospital.

Everything still seems surreal.

After a 20 minute ride Phil get to the hospital. Your mind was foggy as Dan helped you on the ground and into the hospital. (Y/F/N) asks the lady for directions to Aidan's room. She explains the situation and the nice lady looks at us in sympathy.

You hated sympathy.

You all follow her up stairs and down a long white corridor. She leaves when we get to the room 673. You knew you had to go in there. Even if it's the last thing you do.

"Stay out here. I only want (Y/F/N) to come." You say weakly.

Dan and Phil step back and nod. You twist the handle and go in.

^*+^*+^*+^*+^*+

The sight overwhelms you.

The sight is sickening.

The sight makes you cry.

The sight is a burden.

The sight is something you will never live down.

The sight destroys you.

Aidan was white. Not pale. Just white. dead white. His hair was tousled everywhere. Cut were all over his face and down his neck. One stretched from his eyebrow and diagonal across his nose and down to his cheek. His beautiful brown eyes were closed. Those eyes will never see light again. They will never be alive again.

You somehow manage to move closer. (Y/F/N) takes your left hand and walks with you. You stand at his bedside.

This is your fault. He's dead because of you.

You take his cold hand. The hand that days ago you were holding and swinging. Such a perfect human is dead.

The tears come out of nowhere. They pour out like a waterfall. You collapse with his hand still in yours. Why did he have to go? He never did a thing wrong.

"AIDAN. PLEASE COME BACK..!" You croak out.

You just say there with his hand in yours. The tears slow but still come. For half an hour you stay crying. (Y/F/N) stays watching you. She tries to touch you but you kicked her away.

After an hour you stand. You lean down over him and kiss him one last time. His lips are cold and you think just for a second that you can taste the liquor on them.

You abruptly leave the room and run into Dan. You hug him so tight.

"Please promise you won't die one me."

"I'll do everything I can."

Phill drives you home. Dan stays with you for the night. He sleeps in your bed and you snuggle close to him. All you can see in your dreams is how you imagine Aidan felt right before he died. And how the crash felt.

It's all your fault.