There Are Worse Things I Could Do

Chapter 65: Dan's recovery road.

It took about an hour for Phil to calm you down. You keep thinking back to when he flipped out on you. He hated that you thought he was perfect.

"I'm not fucking perfect. I still think the way you do sometimes. Sometimes those thoughts keep me awake. I somehow manage to keep myself together. Deep inside I wish I'd fucking die because I don't want to have to hide my thoughts forever. I WANTED TO BE WHAT YOU ARE CALLING PERFECT SO MY AUDIENCE THINKS IM A BRITISH GUY WHO HAS EXISTENTIAL CRISES AS A GIMMIK. IM NOT OK. I'm not okay anymore."

Thinking about that made you want to be sick. When he shouted those words..that was the beginning of his breakdown. You manage to stand up. Phil does the same. He was crying too. You both knew that you had to fix Dan before the wedding.

"(Y/N) go to sleep with him. I'll think of what to do in the morning." Phil states.

You nod and go across the hall to Dan's room. He was still awake and starring at the ceiling. He didn't even look when you walking in the room. You change into his joggers and a tank top and climb into bed. You quickly notice when Dan pulls his arms into his chest. He glances at you but says nothing.

"Dan... Please I want to help you." 

And with those words Dan starts crying. It was the wailing you would hear from a child who broke an arm. He sits up and tries to wipe the tears but they are coming out too fast. You were too startled at first to do anything, but now you take him into your arms like he did when you cry. When your hugging him you could see his arms with all the fresh cuts.

"Please let me help you." You say to the sobbing boy.

"Get Phil." He says between sobs.

You bolt to Phil's room and he immediately get up. Dan continued to sob into the night. You and Phil consoled him until he fell asleep around 4:30 in the morning.

Phil pulls you into the bathroom. And tells you

"It's good that he finally snapped like that. It sounds bad but in reality it's good. The worst part is over. He can only get better from here."

You pull Phil into a hug and you reply

"Thank you for the help Philly."

"I love Dan. I'll do anything to help him."

Phil leaves and goes back to his room. You stay in the bathroom and look in the mirror. Your hair was a mess and your shirt was actually soaked through with Dan"s tears. Your eyes looked red and the bags underneath were nasty. That's how Dan looked when he took care of you.

You leave the bathroom and crawl back into bed. All you wanted was sleep.

**in the afternoon when you wake up**

When you wake up you were surprised to see Dan up and moving around. You could tell he just got out of the shower. He had a towel wrapped loosely around his waist and his back was glistening with water drops. By looking at his body you realised you needed to get him food. You knew exactly what food he needed.

"(Y/N) I can feel you looking at me!!" He said grabbing some clothes out of the wardrobe.

"It's hard not to." You say.

Obviously he's going to take that in a flirty way but in reality it's hard not to look at how thin he was. Dan runs around and looks at you.

"And those were the joggers I was looking for."

You roll your eyes.

"I don't feel like taking these off."

"Fine. I'll go steal some of Phil's.

You hear Phil scream "what the heck" and you giggle. All the phangirls would love to hear about this but there no way you're going to say anything.

Dan comes back with a pair of navy joggers.

"Phil's reaction to me walking in there was hilarious."

"Well Dan when you see the guy you like coming into your room with only a towel on what else are you supposed to do?"

He rolls his eyes and takes off his towel and gets dressed. You don't bother to advert your eyes. It's not like you haven't seen it. Dans eyes catch yours. You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks. He stopped putting on his pants and comes over to you. His lips press yours and your hands go straight for his bare back. He kisses you tenderly and then you hear a "what the fuck!!"

Dan instantly stops kissing you and looks up. Phil stands in the doorway shielding his eyes.

"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door!?

You and Dan burst out laughing at the reference to Panic! At The Disco. Phil looks confused for a second but then starts to laugh too.

"Daniel put some clothes on. And nice sonic underwear by the way." Phil says leaving he doorway.

Dan laughs and gets off of you. He finally gets dressed and picks up his laptop which been on the floor for days.

"I'm gonna go on." He says.

You smile and beckon him to sit next to you. He logs in and sits down. You could see his hands shaking as he pulled up Twitter. His feed was all mentions of him.

@danisnotonfire are you all right?

@danisnotonfire I hope you're all right you smol bean.

@danisnotonfire we miss you.

all those tweets made him smile.

"They really missed me..." He says. He pulls up the screen to tweet.

"Sorry everyone I was very ill. I was in the hospital but I'm all right now. I'll do a vid tomorrow."

He sends it out. Yes he did lie but he couldn't say what really happened online obviously.

Dans eyes lock with yours. They are finally light again.