There Are Worse Things I Could Do

Chapter 42: Hurricane.

That morning when you woke up you couldn't stop smiling. When you went downstairs you were pouring your cereal with a crazy grin. (Y/F/N) looks at you oddly but it seems like there's something else on her mind. She stays very quiet.

"(Y/N), what drugs are you on?" Phil asked.

"Happiness."

He chuckled and went to make his breakfast. Dan comes downstairs about 20 minutes later. He looks at you and smiles.

"Put some pants on!" Dan says.

You laugh and then quickly flip him off. You get back to making your breakfast and he comes by and slaps your bum.

"Dan!"

He laughs and walks away. You plop down in the Purple Chair and start eating. Phil puts on some Fall Out Boy and your jamming as you eat. Yet as you're eating, some milk goes down wrong and you burst out coughing. Dan spins around and rushes over. You're still smiling as you cough.

"(Y/N) are you okay??"

You nod and once you stop coughing you start laughing. He looks at you with eyes that say "oml what is wrong with you." He stands up and glares down at you. You spring up I front of him, still laughing, and press your lips against his. He kisses back instantly and says,

"You need to pack for VidCon. We will leave I a few days."

You grin and he pulls back. You stare into his brown eyes and fall in love all over again. You rush foreword and wrap your arms around Dan. He seems surprised at first but hugs back after a few seconds. Dan gives your body a squeeze. You can hear his heart thumping in his chest. The sound is soothing and makes you melt into him even more.

"I love you so damn much." You whisper while keeping a smile on your face.

You eventually let go and Dan looks like a boy being touched by the girl he fancies for the first time. That's amusing. You grab your bowl of cereal and head upstairs.

On the staircase you hear (Y/F/N) speaking.

"It's her mood swings. These don't last very long... She never can stay this happy."

"(Y/F/N), don't say that. Maybe she's finally getting better" Dan says.

"I don't know. Dan remember when you were like that?" Phil says.

What now?

"Yeah but Phil, she's not me."

"She has a similar issue."

You don't want to hear it anymore. You go to turn around but your spoon falls out of the bowl. Phil comes around the corner.

"You heard that all didn't you?" He says looking very ashamed.

Dan and (Y/F/N) come near Phil and you couldn't look at them. You throw your bowl of cereal on the ground and storm out of the flat.

You were angry. They don't think that you're really that messed up do they? When you enter your flat you slam the door. (Y/F/N) better have forgotten her keys. You lock the door from the inside. You don't want to see her or Phil. But Dan. What did they mean? Dan had this issue? No.

The flat is too quiet. Anything hurts less than the quiet. Anything. You march upstairs. People aren't needed. Who needs friends? Who needs other people?

You do. You need (Y/F/N). She's been your friend since year 2. She's been with you though everything. You need Phil. You need someone who makes you laugh and tells you things how they are. You need the one friend that is overly obsessed with animals. You need Dan. You need the boy with the eyes that shine brighter than the stars. You need the boy who loves you so much that he will take you back after fucking your ex. More than once. You need the boy that you would fucking die for.

You collapse on the stairs. The tears pour out like a downpour. How could you think of leaving your friends? They were talking about you because they are worried. They car about you. They know that you can't stay as happy as you were 10 minutes ago.

The door opens downstairs. The sound of footsteps make their way around downstairs.

"(Y/N)?" Dans voice floats up the stairs.

He comes to the stairs. He looks up at you in your blubbering heap 4 steps away from the top. Dan climbs the stairs and sits next to you. His arm wraps around you and pulls you close.

"I'm sorry we doubted you." He says.

You stay quiet.

"I know how it is."

"No you don't."

He pulls his arm away and glares at you.

"What makes you say that!?"

"You're perfect and perfectly fine."

He stands up. You look up and see how pissed he is.

"I'm not fucking perfect. I still think the way you do sometimes. Sometimes those thoughts keep me awake. I somehow manage to keep myself together. Deep inside I wish I'd fucking die because I don't want to have to hide my thoughts forever. I WANTED TO BE WHAT YOU ARE CALLING PERFECT SO MY AUDIENCE THINKS IM A BRITISH GUY WHO HAS EXISTENTIAL CRISES AS A GIMMIK. IM NOT OK. I'm not okay anymore."

He plops down and leans against the railing. You can feel how wide your eyes are. He really is just like you. You're not alone. Someone thinks the way you do.

"I'm sorry." He whispers.

"Don't be sorry. Let it out. It needs to be in the open. I won't judge you. I love you. Besides, you're just like me. Why would I judge you?"

"There are worse things you could do."