Love, Music, And Heartbreak.

Battle has begun

The sight of Bret made me throw up. I was backstage about to go on yet I was puking.Jace was trying to talk me out if this performance but I refused to not go on. With or Without Bret I am making this a kickass show.

The DJ announced us to the crowd and my ban went on stage and I went on last.

"Lets Go!" I screamed into the microphone. We sang our songs and I was bouncing all over the stage. Then we got to one of the songs I had written soon after Bret left.

My band calmed their instruments and stood there.Shade pulled up a stool and got his acoustic guitar and started strumming the next song.

"With these hands I destroyed I built my walls

These burdens are etched into my skin

Oh baby when does the pain end?

My heart cant handle this no longer

My voice is shaking from the tears that

stain my skin. I cant take it any longer

Oh baby when does the pain end?

Tears running down my cheeks tell my story

of how Ive been pushed.

Oh baby why wont the pain just fucking end?

I thought when you left me I wouldnt care

But without you I am nothing

Just some dead air

Im sick and tired baby

I just wanna close my eyes

And feel no pain

Oh baby why wont the pain end?

I cant speak your name even in vain

Im just so afraid of committing

My life is already drained

These pills wont help me any longer

Im no longer afraid.

Oh why wont it stop

Why wont it stop?

Why wont it just stop?

(My song!)

Shade finished the last chord and the audience cheered very loudly. I smiled.

That song was my suicide letter a couple years back. I looked through the crowd and saw JC and Tyler and Brandon and Alex but no Bret. We finished with one last song and went backstage and met up with JC and Brandon and Tyler and Alex.

"Dude that one song was fucking epic! How did you come up with it?" Jc Asked.

"It was uh my uhh suicide letter 3 years ago. The name of the song is Suicide Letter."

He gave me a confused look then his eyes filled with sympathy and he hugged me.

"He left to go back home if that help." He whispered.

"He left because the song was about him."

Jace patted my back and JC released me from his big hug. Then everyone surprised me with a group hug.

"Dying person over here." I managed out and they laughed.

"Oh did you see that your all's music video got posted on Bryan Stars youtube channel?" Brandon asked. Me and my band shook our heads no and Tyler brought it up on his phone and I smiled real big when I saw it had 1697 views!

I hugged Jace and Shade really tight and they smiled.

"So who wants to go get some frozen yogurt?" Crystal screamed asked.

"Meeeeeeee!" Jace and I shouted and and everyone laughed so we all went outside and got into our cars/vans after packing up the equipment.

We met them at TCBY and I got  waffle cone with chocolate frozen yogurt and cookie dough sprinkles. Jace got the blue rainbow ice cream of course and everyone else got vanilla frozen yogurt.

There was a little play fighting with the ice cream but we stopped when the janitor gave us death glares and we laughed.

So when everyone was finishing Alex got a text and looked saddened by it.

He whispered it to JC and he looked saddened too. A few minutes later they said their goodbyes and I wondered what that text said. Probably from Bret telling them not to hang out with us anymore.

Me and My band got back in the van and drove for our apartment. When we arrived I just went straight to my room and plopped down on my bed. I texted JC.

Yo are you all okay?

Yeah uhh we had to go help Bret with something.

Oh okay. Glad you and your band members got home safe.

Had a great time tonight you and Guns With A Mind is amazing.

Haha thx the next show is next week.

Hopefully I can come.

I smiled and laid my phone down and stared at the ceiling. Did I hurt Bret by singing that song? Why do I even care though?

For some reason I was worried about him. I had a gut feeling.

I soon fell asleep and dreamt nothing but nightmares of course. I craved my razor when I kept waking up in the middle of the night but I never got up for it.

Maybe I am getting better?

*********************

Sorry its so short! Too much homework! and I am tired lol. So what do you think of the song? Did she have a right to write it and sing it?

Love you guys

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