Love, Music, And Heartbreak.

Ready Or Not

It was the next day and tour was here. We were sharing a bus with The Relapse Symphony and so far its not as bad as I would think. I hardly see Bret which is a good and bad thing. Most nights I was in Jace's bunk or in Shade's. Cassie was at home with Scarlet Rose , their kid. I was now in the bathroom getting ready. I looked at myself in the mirror expressionless. Bad thing about this bathroom was that it was mostly mirrors all around. I refused to change anywhere else though because there was a risk of someone seeing me.

I slowly took off my acdc shirt I slept in and I caught a glimpse of the whips scars on my back and some that had overlapped and were on my stomach as well. The doctor said they were too severe to fix. My ribs have mostly healed but the way they healed weren't that proper so I have to get surgery at the end of tour. My cast was off of my wrist as well which was good. The only thing that bothered me was the whip scars. I remember each one. The sting of each one...the words screamed into them. At one point he whipped the word whore into my back. Then all of the sudden the door started to open. I saw Bret .

I screamed and tried to cover myself again with my acdc shirt as I backed into a corner. It was safe to say I was diagnosed with PTSD as well. Bret quickly shut the door and started to apologize a thousand times over and over.

"Just go the fuck away!"

"Ok..." He slowly said and I heard him go away. I quickly put on a Asking Alexandria t-shirt and I started to panic. He saw me. No no no no no no. I screamed and fell to the floor crying as I rocked myself back and forth. Jace came in and he came to my side. I didn't let him touch me. I didn't let anyone touch me. Not even Crystal. I was having a mental breakdown and there was no going back.

He saw me. Anyone but him. Eventually everyone left me alone and I rose to my feet shaking. I heard the call for us to go on stage. I pulled myself together. Do it for the fans. They made you not these scars and Trey. Your fans made you and now its time to pay your dues Scar. Get the fuck up you pathetic piece of shit. I slowly opened the door and saw everyone looking at me. I pushed passed them and I went to go set up for the show. The show must go on.

I put on a smile for the fans that had already gathered around the stage. I set up my microphone. It was similar to Bret's but different. I saw Bret in the crowd that formed but I just kept my eyes off of him. I can't breakdown on stage. I don't want to get us kicked off of the tour. Jace and Crystal and Shade and Tristan finished setting up and it was time. Warped Tour.

"How are you Warped tour!?" I screamed into the mic. I got lots of screams back and that made me smile.

"Fuck yeah baby!" I screamed as we went intro a song I was singing my heart out. This had to be perfect. We finished two songs and I was sweating. I got a Monster that really was just water and I splashed it all over myself and the crowd as I sang the song.

"I got one more song for you guys." The crowd cheered my name and I smiled.

"This is for the abused, the broken, the strong and the weak. I wrote this after coming home from over a year of being in captivity. I don't want any of you ever hurt like that. But I need to know you are ready for this song because you are the first to hear it! Can I get a Fuck Yeah!?"

"Fuck Yeah!" The crowd screamed. I smiled.

"I can't hear you!?" I screamed. They repeated themselves louder than ever.

"Alright this one is called 'My Undying Heart'." I screamed into the microphone and as I sung the song I saw Bret and I locked eyes with him as I sang. I almost stopped but I kept going and broke eye contact. I bent over as I sang and touched everyone's hand at the barrier.

The song ended and I smiled the biggest I ever have.

"Texas you were amazing! We will be signing and meeting you beautiful fuckers right over there!" I pointed towards our tent and I walked off stage. I passed Bret and he watched me as he got onto the stage. TRS was playing next. I ran to the tent and so did my band. We got there and there was a huge line. There were guys in the line and I started to panic but I tried to stay calm. I pulled Jace and Shade aside.