Love, Music, And Heartbreak.

Misery Before Happiness

I woke up slowly and I had tubes for oxygen and an IV and everything attached to me. I slowly sat up but my stomach was hurting like hell. What happened? I looked around the room and didn't see Bret. But then Bret came in with coffee and he looked like he hasnt slept in 2 days. He almost dropped his coffee as he ran towards my bed to set the coffee on the swivel table.

"Baby? Are you ok? How are you feeling?"

"I-I'm fine. What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"I remember I told Rayna to leave and then I passed out," he suddenly looked shocked and he sat in the chair beside my bed sitting next to me and he held my hand.

"Baby, you were almost a month pregnant. You lost it because Rayna punched you in the stomach." As he said that I could just feel my blood boil. Rayna caused this. I was pregnant and didn't even know. She fucking killed my child.

"Well," I said as I started to pull the heart monitors off my chest and rip out the IV.

"Baby stop. What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna go hunt the bitch down."

"Why?"

"Because Bret! We had a chance to have a family and she fucked it up!"

"Baby, stop there a warrant for her arrest right now." I sighed.

"Fine," I said as I laid back down.

"So you aren't sad?"

"Of course I'm sad Bret!" Tears started to form in my eyes even before he said that and they slowly dripped down my face. I may not have known I was pregnant but it would have been just a matter of time....

He climbed into the bed with me and held me as I cried. He was as well. I could feel his pain and we were both suffering. Jace walked in and looked at us so sad. He came to the other side and then both tried calming me down. of course it wasn't working. I just wanted to go home. Apparently the doctors had done everything they needed to already and they said I could go home when I liked. I signed the papers and they put me in a wheel chair. They said I'd be sore for awhile and they gave me meds for it.

Jace and Bret helped me into the wheelchair and Bret pushed me all the way to the car. I got into the car and Bret was in the driver side while I was in the passenger and Jace was in the backseat. We rode in silence all the way to the house. I just wanted to go home and sleep this sadness off. I knew it wasn't going to be that easy though. We got there and I refused help from the boys as I went into the house and up to my room.

I could hear them talking through the vents. I sighed and went into the bathroom and stripped. I felt like I have been in a hospital for forever and a day and that feeling is nasty to me. I sat in the shower floor as the water beat down around me. I was thinking of the past events. What the fuck did I deserve to have this kind of life where I get kidnapped and tortured and lose my child. I bet it was girl too. Bret would have loved to have a girl. I examined the ring on my finger and sighed.

He probably doesn't wanna marry me anymore. I lost his kid. I didn't mean too. His ex killed her... Rose would have been such an adorable name. Maybe even Cassie or Crystal. But now I'll never know. I would love to have a baby now that I have this feeling. But he can't touch me too much...I'm 50 shades of fucked up. I noticed I was crying. I tried to stop but they just kept on coming. Bret came in and he sat on the floor of the bathroom as he watched me. I just stared ahead. He sighed and got a wash cloth and he wet it and started to gently wash my skin free of the hospital feeling.

"I'm so sorry baby."

"Don't...be sorry." Silence lingered in once more and he washed my hair as I shook while starting to cry once more. He wiped away my tears and he stood me up and dried me off. I was still just looking straight in complete silence. He dressed me and lead me to bed. I laid down and stared at the ceiling in silence. Bret changed so he was just in his boxers and he laid down next to me. He held me too him as I stared in silence thinking.

"Baby, its gonna be ok. We can have another one." I didn't reply. I don't want another one. I didn't even know I had the one I had. If  I did I wouldn't have gotten in such a big fight. Soon sleep came over me and I had dreams of a child that was about 4 years old. She had brown hair like Bret's natural and she had my eyes. My signature eyes. I was probably crying in my sleep. The little girl was blowing bubbles and laughing as she ran around popping them. She was absolutely adorable. This is what I missed out on. This is what she made me lose. What she and I destroyed. My future with a family destroyed. God I wish yesterday never happened.

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Hey Guys! Sorry I'm updating kinda late. I literally just wrote this because I've been soooo busy! I hope I can get these caught up!