Love, Music, And Heartbreak.

Healthy Minded

It was a few months later and we had just finished in the studio. The wedding was next week and I was rushing through my wedding notes every day. I was somewhat emotional all of the time and they said its just nerves . Nut I'm not nervous what so ever. I'm excited. I'm going to marry the love of my life.

My band has announced a tour a month from now with Panic! At The Disco. We were opening for them and I couldn't be happier. I've always wanted to meet Brendon Urie and I actually might be able to! I would miss Bret though. We have to part right after our honeymoon and I hate that. But what ever is good for the band. Plus it would be good practice to not depend on him for approval.

However, we have been more intimate. Me and Bret have had sex maybe 3 times since I was put up into the psyche ward. That whole visit really helped me overcome some fears that I had and I was almost over the whole insecure thing. The whip scars didn't really bother me much because the one who's opinion matters the most loves me for who I am.

I am feeling healthier than I ever have been. Although I have discovered the side effects of forgetting to take the anti depressant medicine. Rines has lowered my dosage a little since the visit and I have to go see her every week and a half. On our honeymoon I have to call her and same with when we tour. I wish so badly I could take Bret but it'd only be a month.

I woke up this morning and made waffles for me and Bret. I then ended up eating a pickle while cooking the breakfast. I keep having weird cravings for stuff at night and in the morning.  Bret came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I smiled and hugged his arms close to me.

"Good morning future Mrs. Bret Von Dehl."

"Good morning husband I might drive crazy." He laughed and kissed my forehead. He rubbed my arm and went to sit at the table. I set his plate in front of him and I sat next to him and we started eating. We talked a little about the wedding while eating before we were interrupted by Cassie and Jace letting their selves in.

"Whats up soon to be newlyweds!" Cassie screamed. Scarlet came running through the house and into my lap. I smiled and I talked in baby talk to her as she smiled big.  Cassie laid out her plan books and showed me all the finishing details about the wedding.  After me and Bret finalized it I started feeling sick and I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I forgot to take my pill I think. Anyways I took it because even if I did it it was thrown up by now.

Bullet came falling down the stairs and wrapped herself around lil Scarlet. It was so cute. Lil Scarlet picked her up and nuzzled her and Bullet was so gentle with her it was adorable.

Bret and I decided to go to California for our honeymoon. We always had the time of our lives there so why not spend our honeymoon there? We were going to be in a hotel on the ocean and I couldn't wait.  Bret grabbed my hand and rubbed my knuckles with his thumb making me smile. Jace was lost in the whole wedding planning part so he mainly paid attention to Lil Scarlet. Jace. He has been such a good brother to me.  And he will be giving me away at the wedding. I'm still not comfortable about my father being around me since everything that has happened but that is on my list to do eventually.

I pulled Cassie aside to talk to her and she was all smiles. I know that she was happy to plan this for me. I may not have been there for her wedding but she will be here for mine and that's all I could ask for.

"Can you go to the store and get me some things?" I asked looking at her.

"Yeah sure what do you need?" She got out her phone and opened up her notes to take notes.

"Shampoo, perfume, apples, pregnancy test, some plums..."

"Woah woah woah what?! Pregnancy test!?" I put my hand over her mouth laughing.

"Yes! Now quiet down. No one else knows."

"What do you mean?"

"Well I don't want to get Bret's hopes up if I'm not so I wanna wait to tell him."

"Ok well I'll go to the store right now!" She said as she walked out the door leaving Jace here with Lil Scar. Jace and Bret talked things over while I played with Lil Scar. She was a spitting image of her mother and she was so beautiful. I am so honored to this day they named her after me. Even though it was because I was dead.

Bret was all smiles and so was I. He is the man I fell in love with and the man I am going to marry and him being so supportive and caring of me just makes me even more sure I want him to be mine for forever.

I stared at him as I played with Scar smiling big. He caught me staring and smiled back at me before going back to Jace talking about  the bachelor's party.

"No strippers!" I said.

"Ugh fine! My wife would kick my ass anyway," Jace said.

"Damn right." I laughed and Cassie came through the door and looked at me nodding. I gave Lil Scar to the boys and they were completely occupied. I went upstairs with Cassie and I did the test. Moment of truth...

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Hey guys what do you you think? IS she pregnant again? Hope so or no?

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