Letters To Louis // l.t.

March 24th, 2010 - letter 12

Dear Louis,

I'm sorry for punching you. 

Seriously, I am sorry for punching you. I just saw that you wrote in this book and I got scared. I got scared that you had read everything that I've written. Obviously you didn't, but I didn't know that. So I'm sorry. Really I am.

Thank you for forgiving me.

Come on though, you know that was awesome! I've never punched anyone before in my life, but I did an awesome job! I punched you so hard that you started to bleed! All your friends went silent, but then started to congratulate me on my amazing punch. I was awesome and you know it. 

I was, like, full on sass master over there! After I punched you, you where like "hey, what was that for?!" and then I was like "oh you know!" and then you were like "no I don't!" then I sarcastically said "oh ya. I'm sure you don't." and gave you a thumbs up. All your friends where 'oohing' and ahing'. Then I walked away. Just like that. I have never felt more powerful or amazing in my life. 

Is that bad?

Oops.

So now that I've apologized twice let's move on!

Thank you. Louis, you will never know how much that letter means to me. Thank you. I literally cried when I read that. Thank you. I... I really just can't explain how much your letter means to me. Because of your letter I didn't cut that day and I actually eat and kept the food in my stomach. Thank you. Thank you so much, Louis. You are my hero. You are my superman.

After I apologized to you for punching you we've hung out a lot more. You even invited me over to your house. I got to stay for dinner! 

We've hung out a lot. Like outside of the school a lot. 

You've really proven to me that you aren't of ashamed of me. Thank you.

Of course my problems aren't gone though. I still cut, I still puke, I still do it all, but you've helped. I've cut down on cutting (ha ha  word play) a lot. 

Thank you. 

Louis, I love you. Thank you.

Maybe one day you could love me like I love you. I hope so.

I guess there isn't more to say, but please know this: Thank you. You will never know how much your letter means to me or how you saved me, at least for that day. Thank you. I don't think I've ever cried harder out of happiness. You even called me 'Belle' which made me beyond happy and smile like an idiot. You called me nicknames and you like me. You like me enough to be your friend and... I just... I can't tell you how happy that means me. Thank you. Thank you so much, Louis. You truly are my superman.

I guess I finally am worth your time.

I guess I'm finally worth you.

-An -no, sorry.

-Belle

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I updated for all you lovebugs <3

-A x