Letters To Louis // l.t.

December 24th, 2010 - letter 46

Dear Louis,

Read my book, show it off to your friends, write in it, you've done it all, haven't you? Well I'm so sorry that I'm such a screw up! I'm so sorry that I fell in love with Noah, I'm sorry that I didn't understand, I'm sorry that I tried to live my own life without you and I'm sorry that all I do is just screw up, Louis!

I'm sorry that you love me and that I was too blind to see it! I'm sorry that I screwed up with Finley! I'm sorry that I pissed all the guys off! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry that I distracted you too much during your performance which caused you, and the other lads, to get kicked off of the X-Factor! I'm sorry! 

I'm sorry! I didn't know and I didn't know that I was the one dragging you down! I'm sorry! 

But it's all good now, Lou, because now you will be the one and only thing I focus on since Manchester didn't accept me. I guess that being depressed and trying to kill yourself doesn't count as credentials. Yeah that's right, the reason I didn't get into Manchester was because I didn't have enough credentials even though my grades were perfect! I didn't get in. I didn't get in. I didn't get in. I didn't get in. I didn't get in!

Gosh I was so stupid to think that I could achieve such a simple dream. I should've known I couldn't do it.

Well happy birthday, Louis. I hope you enjoyed the presents that the boys and I gave you. Simon's gift of signing you guys to a label must've helped ease the pain of losing. 

OH and I almost forgot my last surprise present! I broke up with Noah just for you! Just so I could help you since apparently me being in love with someone else was killing you! So now I lost the one boy that I felt effortlessly happy with. Now I lost the one boy that I was truly in love with. Now I lost the one boy who understood that I had to break up with him! WHO UNDERSTANDS THAT KIND OF MESSED UP THING?!? Noah. That's who. Noah Ryder. 

Noah Ryder; the most perfect, caring, understanding person there ever was and ever will be. Noah Ryder; the boy who effortlessly stole my heart just by being a klutz. 

Noah Ryder; the boy I'll never see again. Noah Ryder; the boy I foolishly lost.

Noah Ryder; the boy I drove away just for you.

But why did I drive away that perfect boy for you, Louis? Because when I read that you love me, when I heard you say that you love me I felt overwhelmingly happy and I felt like my life was finally pieced together correctly. I felt overjoyed. I finally felt full and I couldn't believe that you love me. I must've repeated "You love me?" like 10 times. 

I love you. Isn't that messed up? It was always you. It's always been you.

Happy Birthday, Louis. I hope you got everything you wanted.

-Annabelle

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i am so sad cause this book is like 5 or 10 letters away from being done. wow. i'm sad.

so basically i'm wrapping everything up and the ending is one that you won't see coming. okay well you probably do, but there is a twist on the twist ending. DUN DUN. anywho! 

i'm considering writing a squeal to this called: Letters To Annabelle (basically a letter book for Lou's point of view.) yes? no? idk. -A x