Letters To Louis // l.t.

October 5th, 2010 - letter 33

Dear Louis,

I'm tired of you saving me, Louis. I don't want to be saved anymore. I was happy to be dying. Gosh, just stop saving me.

I'm tired of always being unhappy. I'm tired of throwing up. I'm tired of not eating. I'm tired of cutting. I'm tired of having everyone hate me. I'm tired of feeling fat. I'm tired of getting hurtful words thrown at me everyday whether it's in my head or by idiots at school. I'm tired of feeling worthless. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of it all! I'm tired of everything! 

I just want it all to stop. I just want it all to be over. I want to die. 

Nobody cares anyway besides you. My parents are back to being busy busy busy with work; besides I'm in college anyways. Everyone hates me, I'm not actual friends with your band mates, and, let's be honest, you wouldn't miss me for too long either.

Plus now it has become obvious that I have an eating disorder so the doctors said to watch me and make sure I eat; I was about to lie and say I would eat without being watched, but you were too quick. You told the doctors that I basically live alone, because my parents are rarely there. You asked what should be done about that and the doctor's response was: "well her parents should always be present or she should move in with a close friend so they can watch her eating" and than you gladly volunteered your house as my home. 

So now I'm moving in! Oh such joy! Not. 

All kinds of rules were bent for me to move in with you to your X-Factor house and I can already tell that people are going to hate me for it.

I just.... I want to die. That's it. Just let me go already, Louis, because I'm sick and tired of everything.

-Annabelle

[dedicated to: rampagingashton cause i swear she is my biggest fan.

ok so i love every single one of you cause the feedback i have gotten is amazing. thank you guys for everything!! 

As one of my readers said before "this is the calm before the storm", but is the upcoming storm a good one or a bad one? who knows! 

this is a total pipe dream, but do y'all think you could try to get me to at least top 100? please?

i love you guys so much and thank you for everything! -A x]