July 10th, 2010 - letter 23

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Dear Louis,

I'm shaking with fear, I'm shaking. I'm scared. I've lost you. You're gone. They accepted you! They let you in! You're on the X-Factor! 

Of course I can visit you, but you're going to be so busy. You will barely have time for me.

It's all getting worse too! Those voices are getting louder, the bullying is getting worse, I've started to cut more. I'm not even eating. I can't stop crying . When I'm alone I'm always crying. 

I'm falling apart and you can't save me anymore, because you'll be gone.

I guess I never was your problem to worry about in the first place though. I'm gonna miss you. I know you're going to become famous, I just know it. I know it; then I'll definitely lose you. Then you will forever be gone. Then you'll just be another thing that my brain constantly thinks about and tries to fathom why on earth you would leave me. Why on earth you would pick your dream over me.

But after writing that I realize just how selfish I sound. Of course you will pick your dream over me, it's the one thing that you have been yearning for your entire life. I can't hold you back from it and as much as I hate that you are leaving, I'm happy. I'm happy because you're finally going to achieve the only thing that has kept you breathing and hoping and wishing and living.

Whereas will be losing the one thing that has kept me breathing and hoping and wishing and living. 

I just don't know what to do anymore, but I know that I've now lost you for good. 

I love you, Lou. I really do and you don't know how long I've been waiting to hear those words get said back to me; it looks like I'm going to have to wait even longer now. 

I love you, Louis.

-Your Belle

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so this is were it gets more intense, but short. The letters will be shorter, BUT things will get... eh I don't know how to say it without giving things away.

if you read this A/N then put Nouis Foreves in the comments.

ANYWAYS this chapter is dedicated to my best friend (in real life and on wattpad): @I_am_Diana_13. I love her so much and I just moved away from her and I miss her so much and I just feel like crying. She is so sad so if you could please just drop her a quick message on her MB [message board] to cheer her up it would mean the world to me. She is an amazing author and is a amazing person and friend.  I suggest checking out Sketch by her. ;)

AND I have a new book out called Photography. It's a Zayn AU and I would love some feedback on it!

Thank you all, I love you guys.

-A x

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